I'm ready for more jokes.

[dieselyoda]

A lumberjack walks into the hardware store.
He says, " I caana cut the four cords of da wood with my aks in a day!"
Wow, the store owner says.
"I got this tool that can triple that. It's called a chainsaw."
Lumberjack says, "I'll take one."
A few days later, the lumberjack returns and says, "dis here chainsaw dunna cut a cord a day!"
"You Anglo, yooze think always us Francaphones are stupid!"
Store owner apologies,"maybe it's defective. Let me see."
Store owner grabs the saw, has a look, sticks it on the counter, gives it a pull.
BRUUUM!
Da lumberjack says, "Whats that noise?"

 

[lee]

 

[lee]

 

[dieselyoda]

For my Canuck friends,sorry, but it is playoff time
Two Canucks wound up in hell and the devil had to see this rare opportunity.
He checks on the boys and sees them wearing flip flops, shorts, and t-shirts.
"What in hell is this?"
"After nine months of freeezing our ass off, this is so delightful!"
They got the BBQ going.
Satan turns the furnaces up. The furnaces of hell go to pouring coal.
All the people in hell are complaining.
Satan goes to see them. They are cooking steaks.
"Blue rare, Chicago rare or just after it's been shot?"
"Fine. I will get you!"
Satan turns off the furnaces and everything freezes solid.
He checks on the Canuck boys and they are still wearing their flip-flops, shorts and T's.
"What in hell are you doing?"
"Celebrating!"
"We knew the Leafs would make the playoffs when hell froze-over."

 

[lee]

 

[lee]

 

[20774]