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I'm ready for more jokes.

My mother-in-law came for dinner the other night and noticed the dog was staring at her. She asked, "Why is that damed dog staring at me"?
I responded, "Probably because you are using his dish".
:eek
OM
 
Old Bill was concerned that his wife might be losing her hearing. So from about 20 feet across the room he asked "can you hear me?" No answer. So he walked toward her and from about 15 feet he repeated the question. Then from ten feet he asked her again. Finally he walked to within about five feet of her and he asked again. And she replied, "for the fourth time, yes"!!
 
."A man gets a text from his neighbor":
I am so sorry, Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you do. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, he got a second text message from the guy:
Damned autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife."
__________________
 
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