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I'm ready for more jokes.
- Thread starter oldhway
- Start date
fmdualexhaust
Member
I stole a joke from here and posted on another forum.
Now I'm stealing one from them to post here.
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large
Plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips,and every once
In a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20
Bills falling out of your bag."
"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and
See if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that
Money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right
Next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans
Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
Thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.
"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the
Way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well, you know", "not everybody pays".
Now I'm stealing one from them to post here.
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large
Plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips,and every once
In a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20
Bills falling out of your bag."
"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and
See if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that
Money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right
Next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans
Come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
Behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
Thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.
"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the
Way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well, you know", "not everybody pays".
globalrider
Alps Adventurer
I really like Walter on the Jeff Dunham show...
ksdcr
Member
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
lee
Debbie's Servant
cajunrider
Member
I swear I've seen that on a billboard somewhere in Louisiana...
Awesome... although I've never tried to get more mileage out of a box of dog treats... in the last minute!
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