Does this airhead make me an airhead?

I an simply astounded that this thread is still going on!!!

Me? I'da quit a looong time ago. Probably when I found all of those "Gifts" in the oil sump but nooooo! You just gotta slog on and on and on, making the rest of us "practical minded" imbeciles, look like fools!

I can see mow, that this in going to become one of those legendary, unending threads that has either golden sunlight caressing the misty mountains or abject failure at the end. Thank God that the middle is stuffed with photos and a few laffs!

I'll be keeping up with this and can maybe throw you a few parts next time you screw something up!

Don't quit now!

crazydrummerdude said:

I'll start one tonight or tomorrow, since there seems to be some interest.

Click to expand...

SHAZAM: http://forums.bmwmoa.org/showthread.php?t=37416

The Never Ending Story

Thanks for the encouragement, mymindsok. I always wondered if the"Never Ending Story" didn't have an end, how could there be a "Never Ending Story, Part II"?

As Forest would say, "Life is like an ole crackhead's BMW...you never know what you'll get....slobbberrrr....drool..."


I do know this, that every viable part of Renegade is compromised. I just found that even the seat lock has been drilled out and thereby made meaningless. I have spent tens of minutes in the past trying to figure out what that hole could be for. Fortunately, I have a small bag of seat lock parts and I just have to make it work with one of my "bag o keys" keys.

I find myself constantly amazed that not a SINGLE part of Renegade seems to have ever seen a bit of maintenance. Here's some pix of the SEEMINGLY good head bearings.

But HERE is where the Renegade proves you are a CHUMP!!!


Iffin I was a lawyer or a doctor, money would be flying outta my Buttocks faster than dollar bills disappear at "Carmichael's Academy of Cultured Anatomy".
***Extra Renegade Bonus Points if you can identify where this establishment is/was.***

But I for one, choose the road less traveled. The word "choose" here is not really accurate, but want to believe I choose, therefore I am. Which often leads me to abandoned stills, neglected cemeteries, forgotten Burlesque venues, and rusting hulks that I see as really slow performance art. And then, that nagging question...was this EVER a road, or am I just on some pig trail?

My goal is to get poor Renegade (ie. crack swillin drug pusher) running for the least possible amount of money as that's what I have to work with.

So here's where I start.

lonelobo said:

Just for the record, if the motor does go south, Bob is getting a certificate of "I Told You So" signed by Renegade hisself. Bob, thanks for all the warnings...your advice was/is not squandered. I just wish you were with me when I bought the POS to bitCHslap me back to my senses. The fact that you live in Montana is proof that you're smarter than most of us. My economic situation is a blessing in many ways as I now understand why rich people don't buy really nice trailer houses. Or, really worn out motorcycles.

Click to expand...

I hardly want to see that.

All I'm saying, is that if as you said; you need to ride, you could be riding right now. The same stuff you're considering selling to fund this project could get a running bike, maybe even a beemer if that's what you must have.
Better yet, if you buy Japanese you'll probably get more bike for less dough than German.
In either case, you'd be riding, instead of wrenching on a bike that has yet to reveal any good news after being taken down to a bare frame. Oh, except for the input shaft splines not being stripped.
By the time you finish Renegade, there will be little left of the bike you started with. So little, in fact, that you essentially have a good title and matching frame number. How long, and how much will that take? At the cost of how much riding?

Perhaps living in Montana does affect my judgement; the air is thinner up here. But I'm hardly swimming in cash, either. I get by on a military pension and the VA is sending me to school. That's it. Do I have a few more bikes and cars that I need? Yes, but they were all paid for by knowing when to say when with other projects that were clearly going to produce diminishing returns, and knowing when to proceed with ventures that were clearly worth the effort.
My suggestions to "abort" are based in previous experience becoming so obsessed with a project that it no longer gives pleasure, but becomes a battle against an opponent that doesn't even have a mind, yet controls you.

So, as long as Renegade will play Moby Dick to your Ahab, I'll be Starbuck and wish you Godspeed as you climb over the rail, even if we disagree over the course taken.

Argggggg, thar she blows....

Why, it's only a 60 foot 20 ton white whale and I have this hear balsa chase boat with a big ole poon and at least 50 feet of rope. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Last year while shooting for the BBC at a university here in North Texas, the geology professor we were interviewing asked if I knew anything about film cameras. Well, yes, I says, as a matter of fact I know a great deal about philum cameras.

So he waddles off down the hall and returns with a horribly beat up old case and proceeds to open it and show me a very nice pristine Beaulieu R16 16mm camera with all kinds of intervalometer gadgets, ie. frame by frame recording.

These cameras are built like a tank....well, a French tank and just go forever if you can find batteries and not spill alcoholic beverages into it. DAMHIKT

We talk a little bit and he asks me iffin I know anyone who might be interested in said marvel of French Wine Guzzlin Surrender Monkey cinematography. I told him I would ask around to which he says, "You'd be doin me a favor if you just took it now and found it a good home...it's just in our way here and it's not on any inventory cause I bought it myself". DUUUUHHHHHH...ok, but only if it's going to help you out>....he.he.he.he.....

That camera has been in MY way for almost a year when I had a flash. I can convert this camera into parts for that transplant that Renegade's been wantin forever. It didn't go for a huge amount of money on THAT auction site, but it went for enough that I could buy some engine studs and a decent rear axle and a header crossover pipe off that same site. And with the remaining money, today I ordered the following:

Connecting Rod Bearings (large end)

Connecting Rod Bushings (small end)

Inner and Outer Oil Pump Rotors

Gaskets for the jugs

Throwout bearing

Swingarm Grease Covers

Brake Pad Clips and O Rings

FlyWheel and Oil Pump O Rings

Driveshaft Rubber Boot & Gasket

That finds me out of motorcycle repair money again, but then I always was and this was in effect, a gift from above. Very Cool.

The big ticket items I have left to scrounge up are as follows:

-Clutch plate, Renegade's measures way under spec.

-Rear Wheel Drive Dog, ie. splines or just a used wheel with ok splines that I can transplant.

-Good used Final Drive 32:11 or a final drive rebuild (expensive)\

-Throttle cam & shaft, Renegades are worn way down and it's not really a viable throttle till these are replaced with better used ones or new.

-Front Rotors, I haven't measured them and they don't appear warped, but they do have some valleys that make me nervous. Would I run the bike with them and the worn front pads....yes, but I would certainly replace them ASAP. Right now, stopping is not an issue.

-If I CAN get this thing started, I'll most likely be scared to ride on the current tires. But that bridge is way off right now.

Little niggly things I need to buy or procure are swingarm bearings and races and headshell bearings and races.

So if anybody can help out or knows where some of these things can be had for cheap or for hard labor, let me know. I have plenty of bike sub-assembly projects to keep me busy for a while, so I am trying to adjust my expectations about completion and go with the flow...and just wait for that white devil to surface...I seeee BUBBLES!!!!!

lonelobo said:

Driveshaft Rubber Boot & Gasket

Click to expand...

Which gasket?

dis one

crazydrummerdude said:

Which gasket?

Click to expand...

The one that goes between the driveshaft and the final drive.

Let me frame it this way...

So it's been a while and it's been 104 in the shade and I've been doing a bit of travel for work. So, the other day I return to the garage and find that I'm down to the component level. There's nowhere to go but up from here. So I get to looking at the finally bare frame and start going over it with a bit of synthetic steel wool so I can spray some rust converting primer on it prior to a cheap authentic Hillbilly custom rattle can finish. I was trying to figure out why on God's green earth I felt possessed to even bother with this, when I receive my answer. Right there, in front of God and everybody I see a crack on one of the tabs securing the rear swingarm ear to the frame.

Now, some of you might think this is God's way of telling me to "HANG IT UP!! You are no match for the crack snort'n hillbilly aethiest anti-mechanic S.O.B. that bent you over once already." I prefer to look at it as divine intervention to save me from vibrational secession from this planet's surface. Then I look to the opposite tab on the other ear. Danggggggggit! (That's what I wrote, and I'm stickin to it) The other MOFO is not only cracked, it's broken clean in half.

IT IS OFFICIAL!!! There is NOTHING on the Renegade that is NOT compromised in some way, shape or form. If I were Charlie Brown I would be DOOMED!!!! But I'm NOT Charlie Brown.....I'm......
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LUCY!!!

Renegade's Skeletal Remains Electricuted

There is nothing that can stop me now....
ok, well there's lack of money


and flagging motivation


and absolute despair


and sometimes sheer embarrassment.


But other than being broke without any motivation which is depressing and a bit of shame, there's nothing that can stop me now. Except maybe hundred plus degree temperatures.......and spiders, but that's all....really. That and a propensity to exaggerate just a wee bit. But really, who DOESN'T exaggerate? I mean, if I believed all the crap I read on THIS site, I'd believe all of you could set your valves clearances while takin a leak sitting cross-legged. Just try to get THAT image out of your head...

So, what's a guy with a cracked frame to do? I take the beast to my good mate, weldin Sheldon who takes one look at it and says, "I can probably fix this in about the amount of time it would take you to run all that coax in that pvc pipe up the hill to my satellite dish." Now, I'm not a rocket scientist, but somehow, my superior intellect conjured up the idea that my part of this deal was going to involve me making NASCAR and "Hillbilly Porn" appear on his GINORMOUS drive-in theatre screen of a TV in return for his welding prowess......
and that didn't seem like such a bad trade.

Now, what he didn't mention is that said pvc pipe ran through quite a bit of tall grass on it's way up that hill. On each blade of that there grass lay the devil's brood...the tiny hounds from hell that make grown men go hysterically mad...the six legged freckles of Beelzebub hissself.....CHIGGERS!!!

Now, for those of you so blessed to not be educated in the way of the Chigger, ie. scratchimous crotchemous, you should consider yourself blessed by not knowing the way of the eternal itch.

In Texas, if it's wild and alive you can bet it's gonna bite ya, sting ya, or eat ya in some way shape or form. Now the lowly almost microscopic chigger, a mite by scientific classification, is a burrower.

She...don't ya know it's always a she that does this....burrows into your skin to suck your blood so she can lay eggs so that there will be millions more chigger streetwalkers to infest you the next time you have to run coax in the grass on a hill to get your frame welded. That's just the way it is.

But the really insidious nature of these little rejects from torture 101, is that they will only burrow when they feel secure, ie. anywhere elastic is held securely against your skin. So, your ankles become a minefield of little red bumps that itch like bloody hell until you scratch them long enough to break the skin, etc. etc. etc. You get the idea. Well, underwear has elastic too. Whoa be the man who wears a thong in the presence of chiggers....that's all I'm sayin....DAMHIK

In lieu of pics of the hapless chigger victim, today's filmstrip will show what a welded frame looks like. Class.....CLASS.....CLASSS!!!!!!

I wish I could write like you.

..but every update, I'm afraid you're calling it quits. Thank God you haven't yet, and it looks like you might never! You're too far in now..



I enjoy this story. Oh, man, I enjoy it!

Renegade meets Prime Rib

Well, interestingly enough, I came across a device that is so insidiously confusing to a Hillbilly that I just had to pass it along. Any decent hillbilly body shop will no doubt find it hard to keep rattle can beer and rattle can paint separated. Yes, rattle can beer has arrived in this great country and not so surprisingly is about the same cost as rattle can paint per container.

A hi-falutin friend came by the other day to chastise me about my non-running motorcycles and handed me a beer. Like I do to all my beers, I proceeded to shake it violently....but this one was different...it had sumpin innit. It rattled and rattled and rattled...like somebody at the beer factory had spit out sumpin hard into the can just before gittin filled with joy juice.

So I inquired as to the source of this rattlin cause here in the great Rebublic that is Texas rattlin usually means you're about to get punctured. He assured me that what was in that beer was modern technology. I never knew that beer needed modern technology though the pop-top was a welcome relief for one arm beer drinkers of the past. Which brings up another one arm story. Whilst passing through a small Texas town on my way to another small Texas town recently I came across a sign that purported to memorialize the single greatest sporting event in the great state of euphoria that I like to call Texas and that is the annual one arm dove hunt. I ain't makin this Sh$T up...go here for a look see urslf....
http://www.onearmdovehunt.com/
My favorite part is the "The famous 10 cents a finger breakfast" where for the only time in my life I would regret those 5 other fingers.

This is a GREAT state...note to self, avoid Olney, Texas during dove season...or wear Kevlar.

Anyway, after consuming that modern beer (can't say that it tasted any different than old outdated old technology beer) I proceeded to prime the Renegade's old bones to cover up all his ill-gotten history. Goodbuy ole friend, you will live again if only as a floor lamp...or my name isn't Elmer P. Ontheroad. Which it isn't....
Here's proof of rattle can beer inspired sprayin.

lonelobo said:

I proceeded to prime the Renegade's old bones to cover up all his ill-gotten history.

Here's proof of rattle can beer inspired sprayin.

Click to expand...

Helluva job sprayin' there! And you hardly got any on the truck ... 'cept right there above the exhaust a little ...

Lonelobo Congratulations. After ??11 months of disassembly and analysis, there's progress towards re-assembly. You get a ten for persistence and determination.

Analysis

How did you know I'm in Analysis? Please, don't tell ANYONE!

lonelobo said:

How did you know I'm in Analysis? Please, don't tell ANYONE!

Click to expand...

You learn something new everyday. I was referring to the BIKE.

still

Looking good, mang.

You need a rear fender?

88bmwJeff said:

I was referring to the BIKE.

Click to expand...

i would suspect, given Renegade's history, that Analysis would be most definitely required. Rational Emotive, classical Freudian, or maybe something like Rolfing?

Rolfing?

I'm pretty sure the PO Rolfed the Sh&T outa me when I bought the Renegade. Just sayin...

Upon further reflection, there is one, and only one, appropriate system of analysis & therapy appropriate for both Renegade and Lonelobo.













Primal Scream.




Well, that and , of course.