Three Teas never ending teatime

[testinglogin]

20th April!

That's the day I'll finally get to see my bike again. First time since shipping it from Colombia. It spent ages in the USA and now the UK seems determined to add as many hurdles as possible too. Customs took two weeks to clear it. Now the shipper has "nothing coming your way" until the 20th. They are 150 miles away at the most. I've paid in advance for delivery. I can't pick it up and ride it, because it's not legal in the spec it's in to ride in the UK (as a potential registered bike). If I were a tourist, I could just hop on it and ride around, couple of hours paperwork in customs at the worst.

It's being shipped to a dealers, who can adapt it to the higher Euro specs required, then MOT it (a road worthiness test), then I can register it, insure it and ride it.

So May.

I'll start riding three teas again once it's on the road. I've just been emailed by an Aussie I met in Canada...2010 up to Scandinavia and the Arctic Circle.

Now just get a job and some funds...

Isn't bureaucracy grand?

I look forward to reading about (and seeing the photos) from a trip up to Scandinavia. In the meantime, I'd like to see some nice photos of your homeland - plenty of adventuring to be done around there, right?

 

[Threeteas]

Isn't bureaucracy grand?

I look forward to reading about (and seeing the photos) from a trip up to Scandinavia. In the meantime, I'd like to see some nice photos of your homeland - plenty of adventuring to be done around there, right?

One thing I determined when I left the UK for the USA was, should I ever return, to look up all the places I'd missed when assuming I'd always have them available to me. That's the plan. Lot's of UK riding. A trip down into Spain to see my Mom and whatever else I can throw together.

Trying to get support for "Three Teas another cuppa", as a TV project...move over Ewan and Charlie....

 

[Threeteas]

It is strange that when riding around Central America, the idea of a border crossing spread fear through any Americans I encountered. All that "Spanishness" with crossings taking a couple of hours and bribes and corruption rife. Worst for me was entering Nicaragua when I hit the crossing at lunch time, so I went and had lunch too.

Yet, with all of their "backward" paper filling and photocopying, everything worked really rather well. I managed to fly a bike from Panama to Colombia and from Colombia to Miami with little fuss. I'm sure if extra dollars had changed hands things might have been even faster, I blanket refused to pay anything and even congratulated the one guy for watching my bike, by praising him for his "donation" to the charity I was supporting, but even so everything worked fairly well.

Yet get into Miami and from Miami to Seattle and Seattle to the UK, with all of our super slick systems and computerisation and it's all turned into a lame pig on a mono-cycle kind of slow.

I guess it's the not being able to understand that causes the fear at Central American borders. The reliance on other people who aren't quite "the same" and the fear of fear itself. But, if you are accepting, polite and a little street savvy, then you'll find the biggest pain in the bum is here in the "civilised" world. The one you know, the one where you can and do spend ages calling up, texting, emailing, chasing again and telling someone new all the facts you've already been through umpteen bloody times already and knowing full well you'll be doing the same again in a few days.

For all this extra technology and certificates posted on walls, is the service any better?

No it is not, it's much worse.

So, get down south of the border and have an experience that will be an eye opener, and very humbling too.

 

[Threeteas]

UK Yorkshire

In the absence of my bike, I still need my road fix and bike tyre kicking sessions.
Easter Saturday I took a trip up to the moors of Yorkshire. Some pics:

Made in India. One of the last to be built according to the owner, as new EU emission laws will not allow it.

Unlike North Wales the weekend previously, the police in Settle were handing out DVDs, rather than tickets.

Venison, Wild Boar and Pork and Beef with all sorts of additions were a sausage fans heaven.

The local countryside was very pleasant too.

More subtle than the larger sights I'd become used to in WA and the USA. Sort of manageable and easier to comprehend.

...and there's always a castle to visit or clamber around, when the history bug bites.

I logged this bit of road on the gps for a return visit when I have fewer wheels on my transport (nearly ready to ride, I guess May will have all the crapulent bureaucracy sorted)

And by May, these cuties will almost be ready for the table??

Just need to remember with dry stone walling there's no run off when a tractor comes the other way on the single tracks, and that you'll find that some sections are gated. Always close the gates behind you.

Oh yes and The Ole Naked Man in Settle...giant meringues that explode...brilliant. You'll have to go to understand.

 

[Threeteas]

Not too bad only a couple of hours late.

So that's about....

3 months, 20 days and a couple of hours late in total, plus, over twice as expensive as first quoted, nearly $6,000 in total and that's so far. I've now got the costs to make it UK spec and get it registered, which will cost less financially than it will in frustrations no doubt.
But here it is in the UK. This bike has never been here before, I hope it will cope with being on the correct side of the road!!!!!

You'll also notice, that some thoughtful officials along the way have decided what a "good idea" it would be to adhere their stickers over the top of mine, so that when it comes to removing theirs, it will rip or discolour mine...thanks for that, remind me to come back and paint your car with dayglo green one day.

 

[Voni]

But now the next chapter can be written.

Ride safe and have huge adventures!

Voni
sMiling

 

[Threeteas]

But now the next chapter can be written.

Ride safe and have huge adventures!

Voni
sMiling

Well let's hope so and soon. Just the Governmental requirements to wade through, probably about 2 weeks of waiting for forms, then another two weeks for them to be processed. June perhaps?

That'll be 9 months. It would be quicker to have a child. I still can't get over how simple these things were in the "backward" Central and S. American countries, even not being able to speak the language, I got a bike from Colombia to Seattle, (with the biggest delay being in Miami) in 3 weeks. To get it out of the USA and to the UK has taken all this additional time and stupid costs. And yet, we believe that these other countries have got it wrong!!

I think we are all victims of a lie that appeals to our egos and so we are happiest when accepting that lie. That somehow "we" are always superior and better than, "they" are. That by adding layers of systems, we are somehow more sophisticated. But sophisticated and efficient aren't the same at all. And I'm not preaching Ludite-ism, just that with a system, "responsibility" seems to become obscured. Just as people will happily say, "Well they aren't like us, they don't believe what we do, so it's okay to blow 'em up and their kids and anyone who gets in the way", that seems to be far enough removed from looking a small child in the face then deciding that because you don't like a book they read and they don't like the book you read, you are going to end their life, that distance is carpeted with enough systems and layers of disassociation, far enough from our having to act personally, that it becomes acceptable to say and support, abstaining from responsibility behind the system, hiding behind a lie that we are sophisticated.

Oooh that got deep.

 

[Threeteas]

The Two Brothers exhaust system doesn't meet with EU regulations, so a new end can is needed before the bike can go for an MOT (our annual road worthiness test for vehicles over 3 years old).

More money and more time...seems to be endless.

 

[Threeteas]

Add the increase in income tax to help pay for your safety.

I'm not paying tax yet, you don't have to when you can't get a job. And if you've been in the USA and not paid national insurance, you don't get any social benefits either.
By the time it can go on the road, I won't be able to afford the insurance, or a tank of fuel at this rate.

 

[Threeteas]

Anne!!!

Okay get ready. If you ever think of moving back, or indeed moving over here and want to bring your bike/s, don't, it's a nightmare.

Today, having spent a couple of months dealing with customs, custom's website, shippers (who were shiite beyond belief-here's a tip, get in touch with Globe Busters the bike travel company they can help-I found out too late), then the DVLA, driver vehicle licensing authority and their website and their call centre, BMW Motorad and their customer help call centre and then their useless un-friendly homolgation department, the VOSA a vehicle testing authority and another government web site and call centre, I finally got back to a point where I was in front of someone, or not as the case turned out to be.
VOSA have a centre where you take your bike because BMW don't have a certificate of conformity for my bike, or any US bike I believe. There you will join a queue of truckers, if you happen to be in Liverpool region. Two girls are at a counter. You will get to the front and they'll look at you blankly when you say the word "motorcycle". You will then be sent to find Phil. Once found, Phil will tell you to fill the form in, which you should have from the VOSA website. I had it and I filled it in for Phil. Phil will then send you back to rejoin the trucker queue. Now remember you've already been here once and they looked stupefied, so it won't feel promising.

You'll get to the front and say, "motorcycle sva test booking please".

Now at this point it's worth recalling the millions of pounds of tax payer's money that you have seen spent on this technologically slick and integrated system designed to simplify the collection of data critical to maintaining the well-being of the road system. You will recall the number of people that batted you round the call centre, once you managed to cascade through the endless options. You will no doubt recall all the time doing the work yourself, because despite all the man power that is employed to help, the best they could ever do was direct you to a tosspot of a website, where you couldn't quite find anything that fits in with your specific requirements and therefore required another session with the call centre at VOSA, who then tell you the DVLA are the people you needed in the first place and "have you seen their website or been in touch with the DVLA call centre?" and you say, "not yet," but know all they will eventually do is refer you back to the person who is currently speaking to you at VOSA after having been through their call centre options, the joy of being passed from pillar to post and the obligatory refer to our website/call them back scenario, at least twice,...so do not be surprised when the same two counter attendants look at you and say..."We don't do bikes. You need to speak with Anne". That's right, WE DO NOT DO BIKES, YOU NEED TO SPEAK TO ANNE".
So, at the end of these millions of pounds of bureaucratic fiasco, annoyance and ignorance, there's Anne, just Anne, the only person capable of sorting out several months of anxiety and stress...just Anne.
"So can I speak with Anne please?"
"She's away on indefinite sick leave".

And that's where the whole system goes completely and utterly arse up and finally farts in your face. Anne is away and all those millions, all those call centres, the whole mechanics of government stop.

I was less than impressed. I passed on my lack of being impressed to the two girls as effectively as possible, without causing offence.

A few calls were made and now my bike is booked in for its test next Monday. It appears Anne is not indispensable after all.

So that's all sorted out, done and dusted.

Not so fast. That would just be too simple wouldn't it?

Monday is the day the BMW dealer, who currently stores my bike, is closed. I am allowed one ride to the test centre and then another to a suitable place for any modifications if it's not passed. But if the dealer is closed, I'll need to get the bike on Saturday and ride it somewhere.
I called in at the police station. "You will be riding illegally and will be fined if we stop you".

So there you have it. A smooth integrated system, that falls to pieces when one person falls ill and can't be fulfilled anyway unless you have a car and bike trailer.

What a complete load of Taurus turds.

Come over as a tourist with your bike, that's just a snip in comparison, although you will be charged and have paperwork to do which will make a Nicaraguan border crossing seem like a picnic and a bargain. Just don't bring your bike over with the intention of registering it here, Customs don't want you to do it, the DVLA will hate you, BMW Motorad won't even speak to you, VOSA won't know what the hell you are talking about unless Anne is there and the Police will be looking to issue you with a fine and penalty points if they can, and as if this isn't enough, they will all charge you money while taking the piss, for example, a question on a form today...what is the weight of your battery? Who knows that? I asked if they meant a battery that was fully charged or flat? Well they started it!!!!

 

[Threeteas]

Today is a special day...it's now taken longer to get my bike from the USA to the UK and back on the road, than it would have taken to complete my ride from Seattle to Tierra Del Fuego...and back!

This coming Monday the bike has another test, then documents go away (if it passes) and I wait, again, for the government to send me a registration document..however long that may take.

So, here's a thought, instead of shipping a bike to the UK, take a ride to South America instead, it's cheaper, quicker, less stressful and you get to take photographs!

 

[Threeteas]

Dusting down my riding kit, because tomorrow I get to ride again. First time since Panama in November. I get to ride an epic 10 miles from the dealer's to the VOSA test centre and back, to be put back in storage until the documentation is processed and the bike is officially registered.

20 miles...whoo hoo!

Oh and USA Insurance no claims bonus isn't transferable, so insurance cost is very high, as despite insuring with the people I insured with, before moving to the USA, the discount from no claims then, has also expired.

 

[Threeteas]

First ride in over six months should have been the 20 minute trip between the dealers and the test centre. Unfortunately the dealer removed my GPS mounting for some reason, so I was riding on a single visit recollection from a different direction.

One and a half hours later and over an hour late, I arrived.


Now unfortunately at VOSA test centre, I asked if I could take pictures for my blog. Big mistake.

I'm not sure what secrets I could have revealed, but I was told in very strong terms that I could not mention what took place during the test. What official tosh. There's a guy that measures things, weighs things, measures other things, then passes or fails you.

One thing for GS rider and this is a biggie, if you ever need a VOSA test, you know how we have two front mud guards? Well, the one nearest the tyre IS NOT A MUD GUARD, okay. Remember it's a finger protector, or after market add on to keep sheep or monkeys off. It can be for anything else, but it's not your mud guard. The beak is your mud guard. Get this wrong and you will fail, because the mud guard nearest the tyre doesn't have an edge rim radius of 2 millimetres, but your beak does. Yep I know it's rubbish, but we pay taxes so a man can look and measure that. Also on a GS, for the hazards to work when the ignition is turned off, you need to turn it on, activate the hazards, and THEN, turn the ignition off.
Anyway, I passed, so I now have another certificate I can present to whoever is next in the list.
To be honest, the guy today was quite pleasant, but only once the test had finished, it was as if chatting could in some way influence his decisions, as if by bantering back and forth the tape measure or scales would have been mysteriously biased in my favour. It's that sort of bureaucracy that ticks me off.

 

[Threeteas]

Sun is shining, the bike is taxed, registered, insured and full of fuel...time to ride.

North Wales.

Great Orme is a rocky outcrop near Llandudno, home to wild beasts with horns.

Fortunately, the bigger ones seemed pre-occupied with other things.

If you don't want to ride to the top there's a cable car and a funicular tram.

There was a heavy police presence in places and the walkers and tourists were swarming around Mt Snowdon, lots of spandex in evidence in bright colours. Lots of bikes mainly Japanese but a scattering of Beemers.

Tea was taken in a converted railway carriage in Bets Y Coed, along with a salad with cheese,
"What sort of cheese?".
"Welsh cheese",
"Yes but what sort?"
"Dunno, it's just Welsh".
Ah national pride and staff that can't give a toss.
"I'll have that then please, but can you add extra Welshness".

Great Orme has switchbacks that are tighter than a bankers tax return, not many of them, but tight enough to require a stop and three point GSA turn when confronted by a car coming up, as you go down. Pay a pound to the man then on to the rock face road that sinuously hangs above the sea, in a tight one way road of contours. Again, as good as anywhere I've ridden, just not very much of it. Britain is compact, which is good as you can comprehend it and bad because it doesn't challenge your boundaries of comprehension in the way vastness, or extremes, do.
Also on the summit of the Orme is a Bronze age copper mine...surely that will be a copper age mine then...(I know...just playing).

Good to be back riding, I will sleep the deep sleep of the satisfied and pleasantly tired.

 

[129654]

Nice photos. Brings back memories - went to Wales & Northern England 2 summers back with the family. Did lots of hiking in the Lake District, Snowdonia, etc, but didn't get any riding in. Beautiful country. Keep the pics coming.

Cheers

 

[Threeteas]

Nice photos. Brings back memories - went to Wales & Northern England 2 summers back with the family. Did lots of hiking in the Lake District, Snowdonia, etc, but didn't get any riding in. Beautiful country. Keep the pics coming.

Cheers

You are right, there's more to the UK than London, impressive as that might be.

 

[Holly]

Happiness is

riding at last! I don't know if the long struggle to get your bike on the road made the ride any more sweet, but we are all happy for you that it is finally happening. Looks like a fun ride and great pics. Keep on rolling...

Holly

 

[Threeteas]

Okay, Three Teas is just being rekindled. From the suddenly extinguished flames of the S. America ride, I may be stoking some life out of the embers.

A large UK tea company are interested in how the idea can be developed of riding and stopping to make tea for strangers. A draught treatment is now being revised, with a production company adding their bits. A new website is being created and then hopefully, and it is very likely nothing will come of this but it's an opportunity too good to ignore, a presentation to the tea company execs will result in a filming budget for a trailer at least, then a pitch for a TV series (and with this tea company's support and ad spend, they may be able to add considerable clout).

So, Three Teas may, just may be, coming to a TV screen near your living room.

Long way to go yet and probably harder to navigate than an El Salvador port, or UK custom's documentation.

 

[statdawg]

Okay, Three Teas is just being rekindled. From the suddenly extinguished flames of the S. America ride, I may be stoking some life out of the embers.

A large UK tea company are interested in how the idea can be developed of riding and stopping to make tea for strangers. A draught treatment is now being revised, with a production company adding their bits. A new website is being created and then hopefully, and it is very likely nothing will come of this but it's an opportunity too good to ignore, a presentation to the tea company execs will result in a filming budget for a trailer at least, then a pitch for a TV series (and with this tea company's support and ad spend, they may be able to add considerable clout).

So, Three Teas may, just may be, coming to a TV screen near your living room.

Long way to go yet and probably harder to navigate than an El Salvador port, or UK custom's documentation.

There is a great idea here, just think about riding and making tea within the UK motorcycle community. A day with Nick Sanders, a trip up a GS path with Simon Pavey, a visit with returning UK riders that went around the world or to an African raid. Then lets not forget the race tracks, the speed camera repair man and the lurking Sheriff to catch Robin firing his bow. Mix it with food, places, history, and of course Brit humor and you will have the perfect cozy fit for a remote controller.

 

[Threeteas]

There is a great idea here, just think about riding and making tea within the UK motorcycle community. A day with Nick Sanders, a trip up a GS path with Simon Pavey, a visit with returning UK riders that went around the world or to an African raid. Then lets not forget the race tracks, the speed camera repair man and the lurking Sheriff to catch Robin firing his bow. Mix it with food, places, history, and of course Brit humor and you will have the perfect cozy fit for a remote controller.

I was thinking more of rides to China, India, Sri Lanka, S. Africa and S.America. tracing from source to cup, with the interviews and Three Teas ethos being followed.

From a personal point of view, the highlight would be if I could get to one of the Three Tea schools in the Karakorma Valley.

But start local to define a demographic and keep logistics and trailer production costs down.

Early, early, days, but an opportunity that has to be followed as far as possible.