I'm ready for more jokes.

[bigjohnsd]

A little girl goes to the pet shop and asks "Do you have any widdle wabbits?"
The pet shop owner's heart melts, and he gets down on one knee and asks
"Do you want a liddle white wabbit, or a fuzzy black wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown wabbit ovah deah?"
The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, looks him in the eye, and replies
"I Don't weally think my Anaconda gives a phuc!"

 

[bigjohnsd]

 

[rogerc60]

That must be a leaked photo of BMW's next gen 90-degree boxer engine.

 

[pauls1150]

Too much time at Starbucks!
That's not a "90" - it's the new high-performance oil cooler...

 

[6322]

Or the new BMW latte maker?

 

[pauls1150]

Someone stole my coffee cup.
I'm headed to the police station to look at mugshots.

 

[20774]

Thanks for the proof!

 

[fezzik68]

Someone stole my coffee cup.
I'm headed to the police station to look at mugshots.

Don't know who stole the toilet out of the police station,
they have nothing to go on...

 

[bigjohnsd]

A man comes home, wife greets him at the door.... How did your doctor's appointment go, dear? Oh it was OK, but he prescribed these suppositories I have to put in twice a day, perhaps you could help me. Wife says, sure no problem.
Hubby leans over the bed while she puts one hand on his shoulder and tries to insert the suppository.... suddenly the man screams. Sorry dear, did I hurt you? No, he says, I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders......

 

[akbeemer]

This happened locally yesterday.

 

[pauls1150]

Watch out for those slickery spots!

 

[GTRider]

This happened locally yesterday.

And possibly a delay the next day, as the bus likely needs washing now…

Best,
DeVern

 

[omega man]

“I’m never going back to Las Vegas. Going by the Chapel reminds me of how I lost half my money”

OM

 

[fezzik68]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer,

I don't know what he laced them with,

but I was tripping all day.

 

[20774]

...

 

[20774]

In honor of the World Cup goals...

 

[88bmwjeff]

I was reading some of Rodney Dangerfield's "one liners" and this one made laugh

"I looked in the mirror this morning and said to my wife, 'I'm getting old and ugly. I need a compliment.' She said, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'"

 

[bigjohnsd]

Todays laugh