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Riding Motorcycles When You Have Young Kids At Home....

moshe_levy

New member
Hi All-

This week's Moto Mouth focuses on the controversial issue of riding motorcycles when you still have young kids at home. Some give up riding altogether. Some curtail it. And some keep on going.... How did you handle it?

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GnV5vW92RF8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

-MKL
 
Unfortunately, my responsibilities as Dad has left me with insufficient time to ride. While I haven't given up on riding, I just don't know how to fit it into my schedule. I would like to start taking my son out for Saturday rides, but he's still too short for the pegs.
 
I raised 4 kids, and though I never gave up riding, I rode less than I would have liked. But it is a tough juggling act finding the time to ride and spending time with family.

The funny thing is, the kids are now all grown up and I find myself riding even less. I just like spending all my non-working time with my spouse. She enjoys occasional rides, but not the long distance ones I prefer. And I am ok with that. And now having grandchildren, I would take time spent with them over a ride any day. Any day!
 
I never quit riding because of kids. We have two. But more importantly, Voni learned to ride and began riding precisely because we had (at that time) two kids ages 6 and 8 and we wanted to ride together as a family. By the time the kids were 8 and 10 we were taking two-week motorcycle vacations together, in the great plains, with two bikes, two-up each. Now nearly 1.1 million accident free miles later she doesn't regret it a bit. Nor do I. Some members of our families may have disapproved but we didn't care. Priorities!

p.s. Our oldest - son - turned 50 today.
 
I so love this! As Paul said, I learned to ride so we could share it with our kids.

And, Wow, the family memories we have are priceless.

But, there did come the day when our daughter was a teenager, and her friends begged her to have her Mom give them a ride. She, who saw it as just a way to get somewhere said, "No. Let's do something fun!"

Voni
sMiling
 
When my kids were little, I still rode. If I didn't have that space, the combination of always being away from home for work and coming home to the zoo could sometimes make me a bit crazy. Like insane like crazy.

It was understood that it might be just a day a week and that the other times I was around, I was devoted. I did have times where I was home 24/7 for weeks.

My kids never understood, they still don't, how I could be away for a month, be home just a few days and need to ride. When they got older, we could go out for days at a time. They loved that.

As to the "sixth sense" comment and not riding for 6 weeks. Multiply that by five for a winter here. You bet, the rust is dangerous.
 
Thanks for the feedback, all.

Remember please that by definition, we're in a motorcycle forum, which is likely filled with (mostly) active riders. Obviously, as you saw in the video, I didn't stop riding either. And most of the folks in here, again by definition, are riders as well. But - for every one of us that kept going, there are over 25 that dropped out for many years. This has huge implications for the industry at large - which is what makes it such a controversial issue. I've received about 43x more feedback on this vid than any product review. People are passionate about it, it seems....

-MKL
 
Thanks for the feedback, all.

Remember please that by definition, we're in a motorcycle forum, which is likely filled with (mostly) active riders. Obviously, as you saw in the video, I didn't stop riding either. And most of the folks in here, again by definition, are riders as well. But - for every one of us that kept going, there are over 25 that dropped out for many years. This has huge implications for the industry at large - which is what makes it such a controversial issue. I've received about 43x more feedback on this vid than any product review. People are passionate about it, it seems....

-MKL

Moshe, I'm curious. From the feedback you have received, does it seem that riders think they should quit riding, or does it seem that others (spouse, parents, coworkers, etc) think the rider should quit?
 
Moshe, I'm curious. From the feedback you have received, does it seem that riders think they should quit riding, or does it seem that others (spouse, parents, coworkers, etc) think the rider should quit?

The responses are so biased that it's meaningless. 80% of it is internet swagger ("I'm not giving up riding for anybody! I'll get divorced first!") and self-delusion ("You could get killed at work when a stapler accidentally falls on your head, so what's the difference if you ride through rush hour ever day or not?") This truth is much more complicated than that for most people who take the time to think it through. There were a few who said they gave it up voluntarily when kids came. Most responses say they bought insurance and kept on going. I kept riding too, but I'm not kidding myself that this is just as safe as a car, or that my chances of getting squashed aren't greater than falling off my chair in the office and dying from it. Also I come from a relationship where she rode too - she stopped when she felt that was the right thing FOR HER - she did not issue any ultimatums to me, nor would I have accepted any. But for many (most?) guys, the wife isn't on board to begin with, and that goes on the double when kids are introduced. There is also a regional aspect to this - in the wide open spaces of the midwest, when you see two cars per day and there's no such thing as rush hour, you can talk about riding your kids on the back, etc. etc. Here, NOBODY does that, because it's certain death. So there's a bit of bias there too. It's a fascinating subject, and I'm getting around 45x (at last count) more feedback than a typical product review!

-MKL
 
I had three wrecks in the first few years when I started riding when I was young and foolish. I was not at fault in the first two that could have easily killed me. In the other I was wasted and went down because of impaired reflexes and got badly burned from the exhaust manifold. I decided it was time to get off for safety sake. Then I got married and raised two kids. I got the fever every year but never even considered it because I felt the risk was too great for my family. It wasn't until a few years ago, after a 35 year hiatus, that I eventually asked the wife to pray about it and see what she thought about doing some long distance touring. I was very pleasantly surprised when she said she would like to. We had never rode together but now that we were empty nesters the risk really only involved us for the most part and while we do not know what our future holds we do know who holds it. It has been great sharing that joy with her but I never regretted making that decision. Just seemed like the right thing for me to do at the time. Parents make a lot of sacrifices for their kids and we all have to choose which ones are most important to us. I certainly don't look down on those who chose differently though. As with most things in life, different strokes for different folks.
 
My dad rode an Indian Scout during the rationing period of WW-II and for a while later. But, when Mom came along and kids.....the Indian went away (Burned, actually, from a leaking fuel line). But, with the new life, there was camping, weekend road trips, building the local Sportsman's Club, fishing, photography and competitive shooting. My best memories of youth are my parents doing the things they enjoyed and dragging us kids along to participate or run errands. It wasn't structured or kid centered. It was family.

When Mom died early, Dad was lost and had two junior high kids on his hands. That's when the trail bike from the local Suzuki shop appeared. Neither Dad or I were lightweights at the time, but that overburdened little bike carried us around all the local back roads. Dad was reliving his 30's and the Indian Scout, I was spending time with my father and learning about motorcycles. When my sister turned 16, she got her MC certification soon after passing her drivers test and occasionally rode the trail bikes. Her, now adult, children still don't believe that their mom, the business insurance risk specialist, was a rider. In a few years, Dad's knees started to give out and I traded the trail bikes for a used Honda CB360, which begat a Suzuki 380, a ....

Would life have been radically different without the trail bikes? Probably not, but it was a shared memory that in many ways was unique. I'm glad it happened and I think it helped Dad recover from the loss of my mom.
 
My dad rode an Indian Scout during the rationing period of WW-II and for a while later. But, when Mom came along and kids.....the Indian went away (Burned, actually, from a leaking fuel line). But, with the new life, there was camping, weekend road trips, building the local Sportsman's Club, fishing, photography and competitive shooting. My best memories of youth are my parents doing the things they enjoyed and dragging us kids along to participate or run errands. It wasn't structured or kid centered. It was family.

When Mom died early, Dad was lost and had two junior high kids on his hands. That's when the trail bike from the local Suzuki shop appeared. Neither Dad or I were lightweights at the time, but that overburdened little bike carried us around all the local back roads. Dad was reliving his 30's and the Indian Scout, I was spending time with my father and learning about motorcycles. When my sister turned 16, she got her MC certification soon after passing her drivers test and occasionally rode the trail bikes. Her, now adult, children still don't believe that their mom, the business insurance risk specialist, was a rider. In a few years, Dad's knees started to give out and I traded the trail bikes for a used Honda CB360, which begat a Suzuki 380, a ....

Would life have been radically different without the trail bikes? Probably not, but it was a shared memory that in many ways was unique. I'm glad it happened and I think it helped Dad recover from the loss of my mom.
That's cool!

Chris
 
My dad rode an Indian Scout during the rationing period of WW-II and for a while later. But, when Mom came along and kids.....the Indian went away (Burned, actually, from a leaking fuel line). But, with the new life, there was camping, weekend road trips, building the local Sportsman's Club, fishing, photography and competitive shooting. My best memories of youth are my parents doing the things they enjoyed and dragging us kids along to participate or run errands. It wasn't structured or kid centered. It was family.

When Mom died early, Dad was lost and had two junior high kids on his hands. That's when the trail bike from the local Suzuki shop appeared. Neither Dad or I were lightweights at the time, but that overburdened little bike carried us around all the local back roads. Dad was reliving his 30's and the Indian Scout, I was spending time with my father and learning about motorcycles. When my sister turned 16, she got her MC certification soon after passing her drivers test and occasionally rode the trail bikes. Her, now adult, children still don't believe that their mom, the business insurance risk specialist, was a rider. In a few years, Dad's knees started to give out and I traded the trail bikes for a used Honda CB360, which begat a Suzuki 380, a ....

Would life have been radically different without the trail bikes? Probably not, but it was a shared memory that in many ways was unique. I'm glad it happened and I think it helped Dad recover from the loss of my mom.

Quite a story! Thanks for sharing.

-MKL
 
I did not start riding till after I had kids. Granted I was married at 21 and with kids by 24 so I really did not have time, nor resources to acquire a bike. When we moved from OH to NC I got my first bike, an 1150RT-P. I wanted a one seater till I got some skill under my belt then I would upgrade to a two seater (my current ride). We had the "talk" when I first brought it up about getting a bike when we were dating. She knew from the get go I wanted to one day own one and I was also very specific on what I was going to eventually get (a BMW R1150/1200 or Flying Brick K). The discussion of injury and death did not really come up since my career is surrounded by it (I am a Paramedic). I have been shot at, assaulted, in multiple wrecks, injured several times in the line of duty and so on. She reluctantly agreed to the purchase and once she saw the joy being on two wheels brought, the calmness and something productive to alleviate the stressors of my work quickly got on board. Now we plan trips together and I make plans with the kids to get them on the road as well. This goes along the vein of ATGATT, we take the risks we do based upon the risks others are willing to accept from us. My oldest daughter fell in love with the freedom of the road when she went on a 3 day, two nighter and eventually wants to get one for herself.
Mike
 
Hi Moshe, I've been riding for 42 years now, including the years when I had young children.

Diann rides, in fact when I was thinking of stopping riding when the kids were young she asked me why I would ever consider giving up something I liked so much.

When the kids were small, one of us would ride, one would drive, and we would swap occasionally.

Later, the kids were old enough to ride pillion, so we rode even more.

Now the kids are in their thirties, neither ride, yet Diann and I have purchased new bikes for our retirement years.............Regards, Rod.
 
I did gave up riding between 1984 until 2002 because of financially reason mainly. The kids was the second reason. Started street riding in 1970 on a Honda CL 160, Yamaha R5C (350), Honda CB550, Yamaha RD (350), Kaw. F7 (175) in 1984. In 2002 BMW R75/6, R1150R and now a F800ST.:wave
 
I always felt it was harder to explain giving up something you are passionate about, so I never did. I didn't want the kids to quit something or not do something because it was perceived to be inherently dangerous. Quite frankly only mountain climbers fall off mountains, but only mountain climbers know the glory of their accomplishment. Following your passions always involves some element of risk; from our professional lives to our personal, it is what differentiates a life of living vs existing. I always ranked this higher than their ability to go on in my stead. I know the personal pain of loosing a parent, my father died when I was 7 years old and I still carry the scars of that today, however to play the what if game is wasted effort, none of us can ever know how things will turn out, if you believe you do you're lying to yourself. In my pursuits I've tried to model responsible behavior, I choose the right gear and wear it, take riders safety course's and try to ride with situational awareness. Have I always been successful at this, nope, will these always be successful, no of course not, but I've walked away, virtually unscathed. I've never felt threatened on a motorcycle and I've lived in the Northeast and Mid Atlantic areas and have battled beltway traffic around DC, Baltimore, New York, Boston, I've ridden through as bad a traffic as any here, I've seen irresponsible behavior from drivers and even done some myself, but I have tried to learn from each of these experiences and grow more as a rider. In the end, it is as everything we do, a personal choice.
 
Never gave up riding-when we started out all we had was the R60. "Ater when we did get a car and had kids, I'd give the car keys to my wife in late March and take them back around Thanksgiving. This was in Michigan. Single income family. Bike was ridden every weekend - ice permitting. Kids were intrducesd riding around the bock on the tank in front of me. They each remember the day when thier feet would reach the footpegs and we could go for longer rides.
 
How About Riding Motorcycles When You Have a Teenaged Son At Home?

My wife and I started riding 6 years ago while our only child, a son, was in high school. With apologies to what initially may sound like a sexist remark, a colleague warned me that having a motorcycle in the garage with a teenaged son in the house was like having a naked woman on the couch! He may have been right -- shortly after I bought my first BMW, my son was admiring it and asked, "Dad, nice bike! So when can I ride?" I replied, "When you're 50 like me!" That was the end for a while, or so I thought.

My wife and I took Jim Hyde's Intro Course at RawHyde two years ago. Among our classmates were several father-son teams. It really made us question our "prohibition" for our son to ride with us. It was great seeing the bond between these guys strengthen through the course and riding together. It led me to drop the seed with my son that when he graduates college, I would like to see him ride but only if he joins me at RawHyde. I know that many feel that the best time to start riding is when you're really young - and you may be right, especially when it comes to off road riding. But as a physician, I think there's also something to be said for allowing the frontal lobe of the brain to fully develop, especially in a male! Not sure there are any profound lessons here -- Life's a ride and we all have to choose our own (and our children's) routes balancing our level of risk-taking with the rewards.

With all that said, I highly recommend the two movies, Why We Ride and On Any Sunday, The Next Chapter, both of which have really compelling accounts of families riding together.
 
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