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As ___ as ___

Full as a tick - said by my cousin Sandra after a particularly delicious BBQ lunch. Sandra is from back home in Arkansas and my dear MIL from NY about fell over....
 
Fine as frog hair

- first heard during "Colorful Language" class at Drill Sergeant School in 1988. I aced the test on that block of instruction....

There were many of these similes we learned during Drill Sergeant School to describe things that were, ahem, "not correct" in one way or another... Most of them are not appropriate for a public forum whose decorum is as proper as this....
 
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sgtbill, you reminded me of one we used to hear a lot during boot camp:

You guys are lower than whale schmitt on the bottom of the ocean!
 
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