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What if your SO doesn't share your passion?

Voni

sMiling
Staff member
Another thread got me thinking about how lucky I am to have my mechanic, Paul, who shares my passion for motorcycling. I'm wondering, how do you cope when the one you enjoy sharing life with doesn't see motorcycling as as compelling as you do. . . .

Voni
 
Antidote to spouse who doesn't: FF sMiles

In the thirty five years my wife and I have been married, she's only been on the back of the bike once ("....and that's @#&%!! plenty!"). She also once 'test rode' a Honda 75cc I bought for our 10 yr old daughter for Christmas. That ended badly when she panicked coming up our steep driveway with the throttle wide open (is there any other way on that bike?) and crashed into the garage door.

However, she's been amazingly understanding of my addiction (nee, passion). In '02 she blessed (well maybe sanctioned is more like it) an epoch riding/camping trip to Alaska with my then 12 yr old daughter as a pillion. She flew to Juno, Wassila (nope, couldn't see Sarah from the porch of our B&B) and flew home to CO from Anchorage. More recently we've mototoured NZ, Italy, Canadian Maritimes, and most of the Southwest US, each time using FF miles where I ride, she flies/drives and meets me. Not for everyone, but it's worked well for us for a pretty good stretch now. :kiss
 
Years ago we did ride on two small bikes in Europe for three months, but that was about 40 years ago. She's been on my two bike twice. She has no interest in riding, but she is the one who told me to pick up the first one, and after a few years when the first died at the beginning of the summer, I was told to pickup a spare. I take many extended holidays on the bikes and keep in touch by phone. Not a problem for either of us.
 
My wife of 44 years does not like riding pillion on a motorcycle. She took driving lessons for automobiles years ago but decided that driving was not for her. However my passion for riding has her blessing even though she worries. Like Paul said in a previous post we keep in touch via phone when I travel. Med-Jet insurance will be supplemented with a "SPOT" device this year giving both of us some peace of mind. I like to tent camp and Gypsy thinks of camping as staying at the Holiday Inn. We both like to cruise on ships and enjoy going to Las Vegas. A recent purchase of an R100RT with a Ural side car might get her to ride locally. "I HOPE" If she does like the hack I will probably trade/sell my 3 bikes for a well equiped hack so we can enjoy traveling together.
Ride safe :usa :usa
 
I'm the wifey of a very gifted rider... you know the type that's been riding since the age of 2 or so.... luckily I share his absolute passion for motorcycles and he encourages and pushes me to test the limits often! If I was riding solo all the time I think I'd have a slower learning curve... but a less expensive and painful one... if you know what I mean... In any case, I'll ride with or without him! Its important to follow your own dreams even if they don't agree 100% with you significant other.
Looks like I might be doing a corner to corner cross country to Philadelphia this year, if he sticks to his guns and wuses out! ;)
 

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In my case it is short day trips only with my wife. She enjoys being a passenger but has no desire to take any extended trips on two or four wheels.

Roy
 
:type..... I couldn't get to the end of our driveway without Mary jumping on :laugh We've talked to lots of guys especially who have a sad note in their voice when they talk about their SOs not wanting to ride with them. Sharing is such a wonderful part of the experience. I am fortunate (just look at those two nut bars in our blog sig below!). - Bob
 
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So what about women who ride and have a husband that does not share their passion? I know of one woman that is a LD rider and takes extended multi-country trips without her husband of many years. I know of no husband that rides pillion with his wife on a regular basis, but I'm guessing they out there,
 
So what about women who ride and have a husband that does not share their passion? I know of one woman that is a LD rider and takes extended multi-country trips without her husband of many years. I know of no husband that rides pillion with his wife on a regular basis, but I'm guessing they out there,

I was married to a guy who didn't share my passion for riding. He'd commute to work en moto, sure, but could NOT understand why I'd slog out of bed at 6am on a Sunday morning to go for a ride to nowhere.

Key word there, I guess, is "was." :scratch

Now I still ride alone quite a lot, but the ends of my rides are much cheerier. :violin
 
...how do you cope...Voni

There's really no coping for me, as I prefer to ride solo, or with my brother and a couple of friends.

The coping is for my wife, who worries quite a bit about me having an accident while I'm away.

Otherwise, we have a number of common interests, and spend lots of time together; we've been married for 36 years.
 
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Another thread got me thinking about how lucky I am to have my mechanic, Paul, who shares my passion for motorcycling. I'm wondering, how do you cope when the one you enjoy sharing life with doesn't see motorcycling as as compelling as you do. . . .

Voni

Works both ways ! :love

CIMG0796.JPG
 
When you get to a certain age

you don't have to do everything together. My wife doesn't care for MCs very much and would just as soon stay home with the grandkids and that is fine. We do plenty of things together, but MCing will never be one of them.
 
:type..... of course, as we all know, life is about choices. This fella in Cuba has an interesting take on it..... (it was in our newspaper this morning.... how timely) - Bob

pillionbaaaaaa.jpg
 
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I think it would hard if my partner did not share my passion. We ride a lot together and my passion/addiction is even worse than hers. With that being said...we have issues at times with my addiction at times consuming my brain power to be present when I am off the bike.

So, even when you have a partner who LOVES riding there still can be the need to cope and compromise the needs vs. wants. I will get in the cage and drive with her even though I figure we can always ride the bike to anywhere, anytime. :)
 
It was very simple for me. If the lady didn't like Motorcycles, I would politely excuse myself. All my wifes have loved to ride :D My present and FINAL wife even rides her own.:clap
 
We just got back from a ride to Corpus Christi today. My wife enjoys riding with me (even in the rain!). However she has a painful condition (sciatic nerve?) that causes her extreme distress after exactly 70 miles. We're riding a 2004 R1150RT with stock seat. That may need to be changed. I will see about adjustable footpegs so she can stretch out a bit. On the stock seat I can go over 200 miles without noticing any discomfort, and i would like to go 600. An over-nighter to Big Bend has a lot of appeal. Anyway, she would like to be able to go further and she talks about camping instead of moteling so we may have some adjustments to make. I am hopeful that I can make the bike comfortable enough for her that she likes it as much as I do.
 
Good question Voni!

my spouse and I have an agreement - she's not interested in riding and I don't push it on her and in turn, she shoos me out of the house during our short riding season to help me keep my mental health. She knows that if I don't get out I'll just get really crabby and she'd rather have me be happy - for both of our sakes!

I'm aware of how lucky I am!

BugCollector - your wife might want to try acupuncture if she has sciatica - I had a bad case several years ago and acupuncture got rid of it. There are also stretching exercises that have been helpful.
 
My SO has a passion of her own...dressage. I don't try to ride her horses, she doesn't try to ride mine. :rofl

We respect the passion we each have for what we do, and it helps to have an understanding partner who shares the winter blahs when we cannot ride. She's gotten on the bike a few times with me, but no real interest in long trips, etc.

I think in general, if a spouse or SO has something to focus their passion on, it makes it easier for us to have our passion without creating friction.
 
Passions, shared or not, ARE the ticket!

Thanks for so many great responses! Keep them coming.

Voni
sMiling
 
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