-
Welcome, Guest! We hope you enjoy the excellent technical knowledge, event information and discussions that the BMW MOA forum provides. Some forum content will be hidden from you if you remain logged out. If you want to view all content, please click the 'Log in' button above and enter your BMW MOA username and password. If you are not an MOA member, why not take the time to join the club, so you can enjoy posting on the forum, the BMW Owners News magazine, and all of the discounts and benefits the BMW MOA offers?
-
Beginning April 1st, and running through April 30th, there is a new 2024 BMW MOA Election discussion area within The Club section of the forum. Within this forum area is also a sticky post that provides the ground rules for participating in the Election forum area. Also, the candidates statements are provided. Please read before joining the conversation, because the rules are very specific to maintain civility.
The Election forum is here: Election Forum
I'm ready for more jokes.
- Thread starter oldhway
- Start date
weschmann
Kawa Afterthought
Starting to look like Chinese quality has made a huge step forward.
gregfeeler
Dances With Sheep
exgman
Active member
Covid-19 Testing (Thank You bijohnsd!)
bigjohnsd posted a very funny Covid-19 humorous piece in another MOA Forum. It's too good not to distribute:
"A new and easy test for the horror of Covid-19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean.).
Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favourite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.
Then drink it. If you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus because the loss of the sense of smell and the sense taste is a common symptom..
I tested myself 7 times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today because I have developed a throbbing headache which can also be one of the symptoms..
I'll report my results later..."
bigjohnsd posted a very funny Covid-19 humorous piece in another MOA Forum. It's too good not to distribute:
"A new and easy test for the horror of Covid-19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean.).
Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favourite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.
Then drink it. If you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus because the loss of the sense of smell and the sense taste is a common symptom..
I tested myself 7 times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today because I have developed a throbbing headache which can also be one of the symptoms..
I'll report my results later..."
gsinnc
Well-known member
Never try and BS Mama !
Italian Mother
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the evening, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.
While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son
Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mama
Moral: Never BS yo Mama
Italian Mother
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the evening, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.
While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son
Anthony
Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mama
Moral: Never BS yo Mama
Before this gets into a multi-post discussion on the use of a tire cage- it was a safety device for use with multi-piece rims.
OSHA requires the use of a restraining device for inflating tires on multi-piece rims. Safety cages provide the kind of restraint needed to safely contain possible explosions and the dangerous aftereffects from it. ... These items make it possible to follow these regulations safely and easily.
Probably just the unknowing messing around. Clearly a hub-piloted safety rim.
OM
OSHA requires the use of a restraining device for inflating tires on multi-piece rims. Safety cages provide the kind of restraint needed to safely contain possible explosions and the dangerous aftereffects from it. ... These items make it possible to follow these regulations safely and easily.
Probably just the unknowing messing around. Clearly a hub-piloted safety rim.
OM
TEDZEMLICKA
Member
I worked in a semi trailer factory. When a split rim tire blew, it was like dynamite.
pglaves
#13338
A weapon of mass destruction no doubt, for those nearby.
akbeemer
SURVIVOR
I worked changing and recapping truck tires in high school and college. Saw one tire come apart while being inflated. The wheel/tire was in a cage and no one was injured. I was about 20 feet away and was as stunned as when I’ve been when close to high order detonations. The man filling the tire was next to the cage and was scared witless. We had men who went out on road side calls to change tires. They were much less disciplined about taking precautions.
detbmw
Active member
Back in the early 80s I was stationed at Camp Geiger, NC. A buddy was working motorstables and was told to assist with a truck tire change. Not knowing what he was doing, he had his hand/arm in the wrong place inside the cage when the tire blew. He wore a cast on that arm for quite a while.
When I was in high school I worked at a service station and we would fix about anything. We had a Coats tire changer the the lead mechanic would repair a tire on a split rim once in a while. He told me to never touch them and he would repair them, then showed me a big dent in the ceiling 15 feet above the tire changing machine. He would leave the rim clamp on loose as he filled the tire and he had a split rim ring fly off one time. The rig flew up and hit the ceiling and of course came down again, about as fast. We probably needed a hard hat!
Okay...here’s some funny quotes:
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-Mark Twain
Money can’t buy you happiness, but, it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. - Bob Hope
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
Maybe it’s true that life begins at 50, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but, the man who invented the meter made all the money. - Johnny Carson
I never get any respect from my old man. I said, ‘Nobody likes me.’ He said, ‘Don’t feel that way. Everybody hasn’t met you yet.’ - Rodney Dangerfield
Irate husband to his wife who takes a notoriously long time to dress: ‘How soon will you be ready, darling? Be specific, give me a date.’ - Red Skeleton
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-Mark Twain
Money can’t buy you happiness, but, it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. - Bob Hope
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
Maybe it’s true that life begins at 50, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but, the man who invented the meter made all the money. - Johnny Carson
I never get any respect from my old man. I said, ‘Nobody likes me.’ He said, ‘Don’t feel that way. Everybody hasn’t met you yet.’ - Rodney Dangerfield
Irate husband to his wife who takes a notoriously long time to dress: ‘How soon will you be ready, darling? Be specific, give me a date.’ - Red Skeleton
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Similar threads
