I was in the watering hole last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big ol' heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the butt.
She said, "Hey sexy, how about giving me your number?"
I looked at her and said, "Have you got a pen?"
She said, "I sure do."
I said, "Well, you'd better get back in it before the farmer notices you're missing."