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Thread: I'm ready for more jokes.

  1. #766
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    Family Riding

    If this offends let me know and I will delete. Re-Post do not know who to credit

    12B0D11E-A785-49AC-8B91-F1AAD4AEEE36.jpeg

  2. #767
    Registered User WalterK75's Avatar
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    A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room at a doctor’s office and approached the desk.

    The young receptionist asked, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

    ‘There’s something wrong with my penis’, he replied.

    The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’

    ‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ replied the man.

    ‘You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something,’ came back the annoyed receptionist.

    Wanting to teach the old man a lesson, she suggested, ‘Why don’t you leave the room, come back again and do this the right way.’ The man turned around, walked out and came back again after a moment.

    The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

    ‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated loudly.

    The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had learned the lesson.

    ‘What is wrong with your ear, Sir?’ she asked.

    ‘I can’t pee out of it,’ he replied.
    Walter

    "Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." Mark Twain

  3. #768
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    In Memorial

    Gerd Sprachlehre, the man who invented the auto correct feature common on today's smart phones and computers, died today. May he rust in piss.
    Kevin Huddy
    The Outpost, Silver City, Montana

  4. #769

  5. #770
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    (reference Kevin's post #768)
    May he burn in hello!

  6. #771
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    Kevin Huddy
    The Outpost, Silver City, Montana

  7. #772
    3 Red Bricks
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    A young monk arrives at the monastery.

    He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand.

    He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

    So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

    The head monk, says, “You make a good point, my son.”

    He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are
    held in a locked vault.

    Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk.

    The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.

    He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing;“We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!”

    “Father!” cries the young monk. “What’s wrong?”




    The head monk, with tears in his eyes, replies; “The word is ‘celebrate’!”







    LONG MAY YOUR BRICK FLY!

    Ride Safe, Ride Far, Ride Often

    Lee Fulton Forum Moderator
    3 Marakesh Red K75Ss
    Mine, Hers, Spare

  8. #773
    Liaison 20774's Avatar
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    Remember the ancient times?

    EmoticonWinkyFace.jpg
    Kurt -- Forum Liaison ---> Resources and Links Thread <---
    '78 R100/7 & '69 R69S & '52 R25/2
    mine-ineye-deatheah-pielayah-jooa-kalayus. oolah-minane-hay-meeriah-kal-oyus-algay-a-thaykin', buddy!

  9. #774
    ZWEI KOLBEN
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    A mushroom walks into a bar and sits down.

    The bar tender turns to him and says "Hey, we don't serve your kind here."

    The mushroom replies, "Come on man, I'm a fungai"

  10. #775
    Watch This!!! junkjohn's Avatar
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    A blonde is walking along a river bank and sees another blonde on the opposite side and yells to her "How do I get to the other side?" The second blonde says "You are on the other side!"
    John Simonds
    2017 R 1200 GS Adventure
    1975 Norton Commando 850 Roadster Mk 3
    If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.

  11. #776
    Registered User WalterK75's Avatar
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    Mistaken identity

    A man was driving down the road when the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

    The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming curses in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

    As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell.

    After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

    He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, giving the guy in front of you the finger and cursing at him. I noticed the "What Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the "Choose Life" license plate holder, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car."
    Walter

    "Sometimes I wonder if the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." Mark Twain

  12. #777
    Watch This!!! junkjohn's Avatar
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    How to tell who loves you more, Your wife or Your dog.
    Put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car.
    Go have a beer or two, (about an hour).
    Return to car.
    Open trunk and see which one is happy to see you.
    John Simonds
    2017 R 1200 GS Adventure
    1975 Norton Commando 850 Roadster Mk 3
    If it ain't broke, fix it 'till it is.

  13. #778
    Liaison 20774's Avatar
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    Interesting fact that there are no canaries living on the Canary Islands.

    The same can be said for the Virgin Islands.

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    There are no canaries living on the Virgin Islands!
    Kurt -- Forum Liaison ---> Resources and Links Thread <---
    '78 R100/7 & '69 R69S & '52 R25/2
    mine-ineye-deatheah-pielayah-jooa-kalayus. oolah-minane-hay-meeriah-kal-oyus-algay-a-thaykin', buddy!

  14. #779
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    Are there any Easter eggs on Easter Island?

  15. #780
    Liaison 20774's Avatar
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    KNEE JERK REACTIONS

    Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

    On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?"

    A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?"

    The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."

    Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"

    From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
    Kurt -- Forum Liaison ---> Resources and Links Thread <---
    '78 R100/7 & '69 R69S & '52 R25/2
    mine-ineye-deatheah-pielayah-jooa-kalayus. oolah-minane-hay-meeriah-kal-oyus-algay-a-thaykin', buddy!

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