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Thread: I'm ready for more jokes.

  1. #1276
    Dances With Sheep GREGFEELER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by akbeemer View Post
    Greg Feeler
    Ambassador & 2022 BMW MOA Rally Co-Chair
    1972 R75/5, 1990 K75, 1990 K1, 1992 K75S, 2003 K1200RS

  2. #1277
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    Kevin Huddy
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  3. #1278
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    Kevin Huddy
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  4. #1279
    #13338 PGlaves's Avatar
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    .....
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    Paul Glaves - "Big Bend", Texas U.S.A
    "The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution." - Bertrand Russell
    http://web.bigbend.net/~glaves/

  5. #1280
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PGlaves View Post
    .....
    Ran when parked.
    Kevin Huddy
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  6. #1281
    Registered User WalterK75's Avatar
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    Only in America could there be a success story like this!!!!!!!

    Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.
    One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?"
    The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."

    "What's your name? " asked the executive.
    John H. Smith was the reply.
    The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department; Do we have a client named John H. Smith? "Certainly, answers the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high net worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account."

    The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members.
    "We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoe shine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him."

    Mr. Smith began his story.
    "I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes. I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place. Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a Hooker in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."
    Walter

    "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under."
    H. L. Mencken

  7. #1282
    Registered User gsinnc's Avatar
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    A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.


    He said, ‘Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?’

    She said ‘I love it but I have to stop eating it.’

    ‘Why?’ he asked.

    She pointed to her lap and said ‘Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!’

    ‘Let me see’ he said.

    ‘Okay’ and she showed him.. He looked and said, ‘That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.’

    He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, ‘I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I’m starting to get feathers down there too!’

    She asked if she could look, so he showed her!

    She said, ‘Oh, my God, it’s too late for you! You’ve already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Ed Apelian
    Motorcycling is my passion because golf is far too dangerous!
    2018 R1200GS - Light White !
    2016 R1200RT- Platinum Bronze

  8. #1283
    Rocky Bow BMW Riders #197 KenDittrick's Avatar
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    Hmmm...

    My wife yelled from the bedroom asking, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

    I replied, "No."

    She yelled back, "How about now?"
    Ken Dittrick
    2008 R1200RT (Biarritz Blau)


    Excuses are the rocks upon which our dreams are crushed - Tim Fargo

  9. #1284
    Registered User 88bmwjeff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KenDittrick View Post
    My wife yelled from the bedroom asking, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

    I replied, "No."

    She yelled back, "How about now?"
    Jeff in W.C.
    1988 R100 RT (the other woman)
    "I got my motorcycle jacket but I'm walking all the time." Joe Strummer

  10. #1285
    Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat Omega Man's Avatar
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    Kaliphornia authorities are beginning to offer ways to combat the "smash and grab" wave of thefts at high-end fashion stores-





    om
    "You can do good or you can do well. Sooner or later they make you choose." MI5
    Mod Squad
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  11. #1286
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    Kevin Huddy
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  12. #1287
    Dances With Sheep GREGFEELER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by akbeemer View Post
    BTDT!
    Greg Feeler
    Ambassador & 2022 BMW MOA Rally Co-Chair
    1972 R75/5, 1990 K75, 1990 K1, 1992 K75S, 2003 K1200RS

  13. #1288
    #13338 PGlaves's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by akbeemer View Post
    You didn't think of all that when Annie learned to ride.
    Paul Glaves - "Big Bend", Texas U.S.A
    "The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution." - Bertrand Russell
    http://web.bigbend.net/~glaves/

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