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Thread: I'm ready for more jokes.

  1. #1246
    Pepperfool GSAddict's Avatar
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    Neigh Neigh, say it isn't so.
    '
    Ufda happens..........

    Need your R11xx Hall sensor rewired? PM me.

  2. #1247
    Registered User RIDERR1150GSADV's Avatar
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    It can't all be horseplay you guys....

    6256C041-7133-43A6-873F-264983804477.jpeg
    MOA # 108516
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  3. #1248
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    Shopping Today

    True story:

    I just got back from food shopping at the local Von’s.

    In the frozen foods section, of course there is an area of “meatless” products, for the vegetarians. I sometimes check that stuff out, as I’ve found some of it to be fairly tasty and satisfying.

    Today I spotted a product called “Cauliflower Wings” (with sauce).

    Dang, I never even knew they could fly!

  4. #1249
    Back in the Saddle mcmxcivrs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pauls1150 View Post
    True story:

    I just got back from food shopping at the local Von’s.

    In the frozen foods section, of course there is an area of “meatless” products, for the vegetarians. I sometimes check that stuff out, as I’ve found some of it to be fairly tasty and satisfying.

    Today I spotted a product called “Cauliflower Wings” (with sauce).

    Dang, I never even knew they could fly!
    They're flightless just like chickens.
    Ed Miller, Calgary, AB
    2008 K1200GT, 2019 F850GSA

  5. #1250
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    And they're probably better if you pull the skin off.

  6. #1251
    Registered User 6322's Avatar
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    I know of at least one that took flight. A friend and his wife live on a homestead in the Idaho back country about forty miles east of me. Their only access is by hiking trail or by boat via the Salmon River, the River of No Return. Their communication is by a back country radio. One morning he mentioned, by radio, that a coyote had got their rooster last night.

    That evening, just before dark they heard a light fixed wing flying low along the canyon, one of their back country pilot friends who heard their radio call in the morning. The next morning, Heinz and Barbara awoke to a rooster crowing again at their homestead.

    Apparently the low flying plane last night opened the window and launched a “flightless” rooster over the ranch and he glided to the ground.

    Just when you think you have this flightless thing figured out....🤔
    Gary Phillips - #6322
    Wildland Firefighter, Retired, Riggins, ID
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  7. #1252
    Registered User gsinnc's Avatar
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    Ed Apelian
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  8. #1253
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    There's also this pig flying around Topanga Canyon....

    Topanga Pig.jpg

  9. #1254
    Registered User 88bmwjeff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pauls1150 View Post
    There's also this pig flying around Topanga Canyon....
    At least there aren’t any reports of hell freezing over yet.
    Jeff in W.C.
    1988 R100 RT (the other woman)
    "I got my motorcycle jacket but I'm walking all the time." Joe Strummer

  10. #1255
    Registered User GTRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 88bmwjeff View Post
    At least there aren’t any reports of hell freezing over yet.
    Well, actually there have been such reports



    Best,
    DeVern
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  11. #1256
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    From the only real Fargo, ND!

  12. #1257
    Registered User 88bmwjeff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GTRider View Post
    Well, actually there have been such reports



    Best,
    DeVern
    Jeff in W.C.
    1988 R100 RT (the other woman)
    "I got my motorcycle jacket but I'm walking all the time." Joe Strummer

  13. #1258
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    i before e

    "i before e", right?

    Except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

    Weird.

  14. #1259
    Liaison 20774's Avatar
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    Definitely weird...I never thought about that. I found something on the web that tries to fully expand on the "i before e except after c" rule:

    i before e, except after c
    Or when sounded as 'a' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh'
    Unless the 'c' is part of a 'sh' sound as in 'glacier'
    Or it appears in comparatives and superlatives like 'fancier'
    And also except when the vowels are sounded as 'e' as in 'seize'
    Or 'i' as in 'height'
    Or also in '-ing' inflections ending in '-e' as in 'cueing'
    Or in compound words as in 'albeit'
    Or occasionally in technical words with strong etymological links to their parent languages as in 'cuneiform'
    Or in other numerous and random exceptions such as 'science', 'forfeit', and 'weird'.

    Ah, English!
    Kurt -- Forum Liaison ---> Resources and Links Thread <---
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  15. #1260
    Mehrten
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    Deaf Mafia Bookkeeper

    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 million dollars.

    His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

    It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

    When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

    The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

    The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"

    Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about.”

    The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about.”

    The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

    The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

    Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

    The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

    The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

    Don't you just love lawyers?

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