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Thread: I'm ready for more jokes.

  1. #1456
    Quote Originally Posted by gsinnc View Post
    Oops ... did I post a duplicate? Hey .... I'm old and my memory is not good. And I'm old and my memory is not good.
    No, first time reading. It was very funny, because it reminded me so much of my 💈 ďbarberĒ.
    R. Reece Mullins 2022 Sport Blue R1250RT (Anja)
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  2. #1457
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    Just read that by law you have to turn your headlights on when itís raining in Sweden.

    How the heck am I suppose to know when itís raining in Sweden? I live in Montana.
    Kevin Huddy
    Silver City, Montana
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  3. #1458
    Dances With Sheep GREGFEELER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by akbeemer View Post
    Just read that by law you have to turn your headlights on when itís raining in Sweden.

    How the heck am I suppose to know when itís raining in Sweden? I live in Montana.
    Good question! When you find out, would you let me know?
    Greg Feeler
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  4. #1459
    Liaison 20774's Avatar
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    Oldies but goodies:

    Friday Pilots Pat Halloran and Tom Keck in their SR-71s, "Yeah, though I fly through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for I am at 80,000 Ft. and climbing".

    You can only tie the record for flying low.

    Scientific fact: the rings of Saturn are composed of lost airline luggage.

    As George Carlin said, "if black boxes survive crashes, why don't they make the whole airplane out of that stuff?"

    What is the worst thing that can happen when you are flying? - running out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time.
    Kurt -- Forum Liaison ---> Resources and Links Thread <---
    '78 R100/7 & '69 R69S & '52 R25/2
    mine-ineye-deatheah-pielayah-jooa-kalayus. oolah-minane-hay-meeriah-kal-oyus-algay-a-thaykin', buddy!

  5. #1460
    Registered User Anyname's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by akbeemer View Post
    Just read that by law you have to turn your headlights on when itís raining in Sweden.

    How the heck am I suppose to know when itís raining in Sweden? I live in Montana.
    That must be why vehicles now have always on headlights!
    BMW R bike rider, horizontally opposed to everything...

  6. #1461
    aka Johnny Hammerlane bullet's Avatar
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    Daddy Calls Home

    "Hello," says a little girl's voice.

    "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

    "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

    After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey."

    "Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy."

    "Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

    "Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

    "And what happened?"

    "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell down the stairs and she's just lying there. Her neck is at a funny angle. I think she's dead."

    "Oh my God! And what about Uncle Frank?"

    "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and is just lying there, not moving. He may be dead too."

    There is a very long pause, then Bob says, "Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?"
    It's a tough job but somebody's gotta do it.

  7. #1462
    Registered User gsinnc's Avatar
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    A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there's an ad for "Alberta Bear Removers."
    He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
    The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.
    "What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.
    "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and Iíll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls
    off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
    He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
    "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
    "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."
    Ed Apelian
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  8. #1463
    SURVIVOR akbeemer's Avatar
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    A neighbor got this picture of the Chinese ďweather balloonĒ as it passed over one of our neighborhood ballistic missile silosÖ.

    Kevin Huddy
    Silver City, Montana
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  9. #1464
    MOA #24991 Pauls1150's Avatar
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    One from column A and one from column B...
    no Door Dash?
    Hope the driver isn't expecting a tip.

    That's not classified - the restaurant even put their logo on the box!
    Last edited by Pauls1150; Today at 05:06 PM.

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