Complain Thread

Feel free to complain here, or vent, or whatever you want to call it.
My job. I am fairly good at what I do but I constantly suffer from people getting the wrong impression and then telling everybody else about it. I am tired of it and I was ready to give my 2 weeks notice yesterday, without having anything else lined up. My boss was actually asking me to lie to a customer. When I told the customer the truth, that there wasn't enough time to get everything done, they didn't like it and fired the email off to my boss. He told me to tell them I would get everything done, and be more positive. I told him I was positive that I couldn't get everything done. I am positive, but I am also realistic, and honest. Those seem to be undesirable traits now a days.
I drove home feeling nauseated and broke open my knuckles punching the roof of my van.
When my wife saw how angry I was she said she would support any decision I made. Including, staying at home and taking care of our daughter.


I take 3 days of FMLA during the summer to care for my daughter when she is not in school. My problem is, insurance, finding a new job where they would let me do that, and making enough money to get by. I can always go on my wife's insurance. Since I am not working full time during the summer, I make less money anyway. I am not concerned about the money as much as feeling more fulfilled. I work my butt off here and nobody appreciates it. If I got a job helping special needs kids, I think I would feel much better as far as feeling fulfilled. I have since calmed down and not sent any of the emails I wanted to, but I trying to find a light at the end of the tunnel. Most who know me know I am not an angry person, quite the opposite.

Prediction: I will die at work from a heart attack or a burst blood vessel when a person says something so incredibly stupid that my body rebels. I can't work for stupid people.

Example: when the company put GPS on our vehicles. One of the Boss's said it was for our protection.
Right. It is clear to me that they do think we are that stupid if we would believe that. I can't work for people like that. My head hurts.[/Rant]

Roy, I was in a job several years back that I couldn't stand. My boss was generally angry with me for no reason. I would get "yelled at" every few months even though there were no complaints about me and all of my work was done. No problems to speak of, but he still wanted me to work overtime; mind you, there was nothing for me to work on. I ended up being there almost another year until I found a GOOD job offer. I could have jumped ships a number of times, but it would have been a bad choice. While things surely sound like they are not good for you now, think about the consequences of quitting. Short term, of course you'll be happier, but what about long term? Financially? How would that affect your daughter? Would you lose your place to live/car/bike? How does that affect your long-term happiness? It's also harder to get a job if you have a blank space in your resume. Telling a company "I didn't like it there anymore" would make them worried you'll jump ship on them, too.

I'd WOULD start looking for a job, but not bail on the current one. In the meantime, one thing I've noticed is you can rarely negotiate pay very much (over maybe a few grand), but they are happy to give you extra vacation if you ask (because it doesn't "cost" them anything); you may still be able to get some time off that you need/want in the summer. Good luck!!!

No job is worth your health.
You have choices.
If you like what you do for a living, find another place to do it.
If you don't, figure out what you'd rather be doing.
Sign up for what ever training you need to move toward that career.
You'll never regret leaving a job you hate!

Thank you for the inspiring words Josh. We wouldn't lose anything. I have 3 old airheads all paid for. The house is 5 years from being paid off (and that is only because we took out a home equity loan when our daughter first got sick. We have been to Florida and Toronto consulting with Dr's, otherwise it would be paid off) I am seriously afraid something bad will happen to me healthwise if I stay here much longer. I also do not want to endanger the health coverage that we have so I may have to suck it up for a few more years. The good news is I have been here 23 years, (since 1984) so I am sorta close to retiring at 50. I will have 25 years of service when I am 49 and you can retire at years of service plus age =75.
I could retire and get a job with less stress and more fulfillment.

I am trying to find a way to get a job going to BMW rallies. Then I would never have to go to work again. (I know, all of you are trying to do that!)

SheRidesABeemer said:

No job is worth your health.
You have choices.
If you like what you do for a living, find another place to do it.
If you don't, figure out what you'd rather be doing.
Sign up for what ever training you need to move toward that career.
You'll never regret leaving a job you hate!

Click to expand...

I should be clear. I work in Telecommunications. I do like what I do, I am fairly good at it and in the top 10 percent as far as troubleshooting. I am very unhappy with how our company handles us and customers. (So are some of our customers)

I am working on special needs gear for our daughter all the time. I am hoping to find something that would help me make money and help kids. Talk about a win/win.
That is where I am at. I have to figure how much this is affecting my health as opposed to the "risks" of changing jobs. I agree with you 100 percent. I think my wife does too after she saw me last night.

Rapid_Roy said:

If I got a job helping special needs kids, I think I would feel much better as far as feeling fulfilled.

Click to expand...

roy - i don't know your skill set, but here is an idea.

my wife is a physical therapist that specializes in children. she works for the public schools and has a school schedule... meaning she gets the same days off as the kids.

maybe you could pursue that. there is a huge need for people who can make the custom gear that each kid requires in school.

man, i sure wish someone sat my butt down when i was 20 and said "be a teacher... you don't make jack, but 30 years from now you can ride wherever you want and not worry about receiving a pension check."

just ask voni!

ian

Thank you Ian. I have tailored all sorts of stuff for my daughter. There is almost a bewildering array of special needs things out there. I had considered going to learn how to run a hyperbaric chamber. There is one here my daughter used this summer and I was going to inquire if they needed help.

We are on the cusp of something, as she is getting bigger and we are having problems lifting her. She is also standing more and rolling more after the Stem Cell trip to China. My wife has refused ramps and lifts because they are permanent (in her mind). We may have to start altering our house which I could do if I stay home.
She may start getting better, in which case, I may be able to switch jobs. I feel pressured right now, that something has gotta give though, either at work or at home. I guess I am glad I didn't quit yesterday (about 51 percent glad)
Thanks folks, for the clear thinking. You guys Rock!

All I can think about is nothing.

Start looking for a job while you still have your current job. It's much easier to get a job when you have a job than to get a job while unemployed. My job turned to crap after about 20 years but by that time I was trapped by "golden handcuffs" (can't afford to leave). I forced myself to work unti I could take early retirement at 55 and spend 11 miserable years.

Roy,
You have special requirements for your daughter. Currently, you use your trouble shooting experience to to solve the problems y'all encounter. Get on your wife's insurance and use your talents to solve the problems of other special needs kids as well as your own. If you are good at solving problems, the money will come. It may be hard at first, but since failure is not an option, you will succeed.

Life is too short to work for A--holes. Besides, why pay someone more than you make an hour to do something you can do and can probably do it better?

Tom

osbornk said:

Start looking for a job while you still have your current job. It's much easier to get a job when you have a job than to get a job while unemployed. My job turned to crap after about 20 years but by that time I was trapped by "golden handcuffs" (can't afford to leave). I forced myself to work unti I could take early retirement at 55 and spend 11 miserable years.

Click to expand...

I am in the same boat, crap after 23 years, golden handcuffs/health insurance. I have a few years to make the early retirement age/years of service thing. I will just have to rely on the continuing niceness of BMW riders to get by (and riding and Rallies, of course)

thomasseigler said:

Roy,
You have special requirements for your daughter. Currently, you use your trouble shooting experience to to solve the problems y'all encounter. Get on your wife's insurance and use your talents to solve the problems of other special needs kids as well as your own. If you are good at solving problems, the money will come. It may be hard at first, but since failure is not an option, you will succeed.

Life is too short to work for A--holes. Besides, why pay someone more than you make an hour to do something you can do and can probably do it better?

Tom

Click to expand...

I should say troubleshooting as it applies to Telecomm, but you are correct, I have used the same logic to solve other problems.

Oddly enough, my wife suggested that very same thing tonight.
There may be somebody that needs my services.
We have gotten therapy equipment from a place. It is all donated and it helps people when insurance may not.
We got on a waiting list for a tricycle, and one came in finally but it was missing a back and a few other things. I made a back from a Honda sissy bar (my brother has parts) and I padded it and added seat belts. That kind of stuff. There is a therapist in town looking for somebody like that. As Red Green says"If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

My brothers and I would have been great on "Junkyard Wars."

Roy,

Your talking to one who pulled up EVERYTHING I had and made a move, broke out of a 25 year corporate grind into the frikken unknown for family, for us for me.

4 years later, Is everything all better? Hell no, we have issues that replaced issues but at least it's honest.

Everyone in our family is on the right track because of it. We be poor, but we be happy, and we still got our priorities straight, and I own my Beemer. What else can I ask for?

Only advice is make a plan and then follow a plan to exit the maze.

As Paul Simon sung it...

step out the back, jack
drop of the keys, lee

and get your self free.


Red

Scary situation, what?
Sometimes one feels trapped because opportunities and the criteria of needs of family can dictate one's choices.
If I was under a similar situation I would firstly be sure that my family is secure in future while exploring a possible career change that would not jeopardize that security.
Consider this however, life with a miserable bast*rd is not too too pleasant. Would you want to inflict that upon friends and family?
I myself, had an unusally bad day at "work" (I work from home, telecommute) today, I have blood pressure issues that, truth be told, I have to attribute at least partially to stress over work issues. If I was presented with choices such as yours I don't know how well I'd deal with them.
Keep smiling, you do that very well.

work is work, play is play

Getting sick over work is never worth it, but with responsibilities, not working is not always an option. Why not consider a part-time job you would "like" for the time being while getting by on your other job (you know, like working at a motocycle shop), perhaps something will come-up?

Roy,
What issues is your daughter dealing with? If you don't wish to publish them, send me a pm. I'll see if there is some way I can help.
Tom

Rapid roy

you have received excellent advice from many people.

If you are handy and enjoy building custom items for people who have physical deficits (?), may I suggest that you consider investigating the tech schools and companies that offer training courses on building prostetics, or modifying daily living needs. The non-profits in your area of interest could steer you to those facilities.

You are a "hands on" guy. Build on that strength.

Just an idea.

Roy,

Many moons ago, my wife went back to school to get her masters in Occupational Therapy. Wherever she goes, that field in both the geriatric arena to the special needs group offer her positions. It's a good field. Physical Therapy requires HUGE brain power and education, and by my wife's own admission, by comparison, OTs don't have it so rough.

OT Masters takes a couple of years with a related degree under your belt, but targeting a specific population, an Occupational Assistant can be certified in about the same time period as an LPN

You are a natural for OT or Special Education, just a metter to jump off your current horse in a manner where you land on both feet. Getting ceritifcation PRIOR TO jumping is advisable; ask someone who rushed this a bit a number of years ago, and almost got caught where I was in nowhere land from an employment standpoint. Having a job where you ask on a regular basis "do you want fries with that order?" is not a good thing!

We should chat more via email when you get a chance. I reluctantly hold the tiltle of a fifty year old whos most extreme in reinventing his professional self...

Red

ultracyclist said:

you have received excellent advice from many people.

If you are handy and enjoy building custom items for people who have physical deficits (?), may I suggest that you consider investigating the tech schools and companies that offer training courses on building prostetics, or modifying daily living needs. The non-profits in your area of interest could steer you to those facilities.

You are a "hands on" guy. Build on that strength.

Just an idea.

Click to expand...

And a good one at that. To be clear, the joy of making something for someone with physical deficits is nothing to watching it help them. That is the great part.

To everybody, thank you all again. I am sorry if my post seemed end of ropish, I am really not that close to doing anything extreme. It is my Bday this weekend, so I am actually fairly upbeat. I got most of my buttons pushed and it got me riled by god.
You have all pointed out I do have choices, maybe I just needed it spelled out for me.

On another forum I am on, we have a b*tch thread where you can vent about stuff that bugs you. I did that here (without really realizing it, sorry) and you kind comments have made me feel better.
I think that is what it is for.

As this thread is about complaining, and keeping in the spirit, I would like to complain about how nice you all are. Now I can never sell my BMW's, I have to keep going to rallies until I meet you all in person, and I will have to fear FD failures for the rest of my life.

thomasseigler said:

Roy,
What issues is your daughter dealing with? If you don't wish to publish them, send me a pm. I'll see if there is some way I can help.
Tom

Click to expand...

Thank you Tom, you have already helped. She got bit by the bad mosquito.

My wife has a blog that tells the story in the first post, and there is a link to it
on the webpage I created when my daughter went to China.
http://www.geocities.com/hope_for_rachael/