Need loud pipes?

Yesterday, this guy pulls up next to me in stopped traffic and blows the horn. When I look around he is pointing to my bike towards the panniers. I looked to see if something were amiss, then looked forward again. He honks again. When I look around, I see that he is talking. I pay attention and finally hear what he says. He asks if the bike is a scooter. A scooter!

Not a Scooter

Just a big dead bug collector.

You should have asked him if his car was a go-kart.

Wasn't PT's quote:

"There's a sucker born every minute"?

pmdave

pmdave said:

Wasn't PT's quote:

"There's a sucker born every minute"?

pmdave

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Aye, that's correct.

Welcome to the club. An attendant at a gas station I filled up at last summer asked the same question of my 2000 RT.

Sometimes it's fun to toy with ignorant people. One good tactic is to express amazement at their observations, slap yourself in the forehead, and exclaim, "you know, I never realized that!"

Or, smile and make a return comment that's incomprehensible, say "Arrbesto gummint on the fleabilt, you know." (nod sagely and wave goodbye)

Once when I left a gas station I flew the sidecar a bit. Next week when I pulled in to the station, the pimple-faced kid with his hat on backwards mentioned this to me:
"Hey, when you left last week the wheel on the side flew clear up in the air!"
"Naw, that would never happen, because bikes lean into turns, you know." (gesticulate with hands)

And when I left, of course I flew the sidecar again, higher and farther.

Try baiting the suckers. You might enjoy it.

pmdave

Commuting home a few years ago, I was asked by the person in the car beside me what the things sticking out of my engine were. I replied that they were the cylinders.

The driver then asked "What do you do if they break? I have to admit that I was momentarily stunned, and he drove off before I could formulate a reply.

A co-worker told me I should have replied that there was a spare on the other side of the engine.


At a gas station, a rider on a cruiser asked why the bike had a such a large engine for a 90cc bike. This time being creative, I replied that it was because it was a 6 cylinder with three on each side, which was why the valve covers were oval. He didn't comment on the single spark plug so I guess he was OK with the answer.

Of course I've also been asked what kind of bike it was, and why did I put BMW emblems on it.

Regards, Rod.

From my local board:

While stopped at a traffic light on the Reston Parkway a woman, driving a BMW 7 series car, puts her window down and shouts at me:

Something like this;

Woman: You should remove those stickers

Me: What stickers?

Woman: Those BMW stickers. Everyone knows BMW does not make motorcycles. How dare you put those on...

Me (tapping roundel on gas tank): I can't, BMW put these on real good.

Woman: No they didn't. I paid a lot of money, more than you'll ever have, for this car and I'll be damned if some jerk who can't even afford a car ...

Me: Lady, I have a Saab...

Woman: is going to degrade my BMW by putting stickers on his bike. You're not fooling anyone. Take them off!

Me: BMW was building bikes way before ...

She puts window up.

Light turns green and she storms off.

Click to expand...

Jim

And I thought those things sticking out the sides of the engine were mufflers--which is why BMWs are so quiet.

Then again, maybe they are sat phone receivers. I'm just not quite sure...

A few years ago, noting that even BMW riders often depend upon the roundel to know whether it's a BMW or something else, I rebadged my Suzuki DR 350 to a BMW DR35GS. The veteran BMW riders knew immediately it was a scam, but others didn't get it.

One day I came back to the bike to find a guy circling it, scrutinizing every detail.
"This your bike?" "Yep." "I didn't know BMW made single-cylinder bikes." "Yep, they sure do. (the F650)" "You know, your bike looks a LOT like my Suzuki DR350."

I happened into the BMW of San Francisco dealership (combined car/bike) and parked the DR35GS in line with the bikes on display. When I mentioned what I was riding the shop manager came out to look, and had a good laugh.

By comparison, the manager of a (now defunct) BMW dealership in Kirkland WA saw the DR35GS as an insult to all of beemerdom, and gave me the cold shoulder ever after.

The whole idea is to have a little fun, right?

pmdave

Isn't the motojournalist Salvadore the one that had the Indian built around a Suzuki? Sort of an Indizuki? Fooled a lot of folks.

I'm at the 7-11 this morning, buying the weekly lottery ticket for my office. (As an aside, I just love walking into 7-11s - and banks - wearing my 'Stich, gloves, helmet, sunglasses - those guys just freak out!)

So I'm standing at the counter and your stereotypical Hardley driver strikes up a conversation.

Harley man: "Don't you get wet riding in the rain?"

Me: "No - that's what this suit is for." (pointing at the 'Stich)

Harley man: "You'd never catch me riding in the rain - takes too long to clean the bike after it gets dirty" (You should see the many layers of filth on the guy's Dodge pick-up parked outside)

Me: "Well, it's cheap and reliable transportation to and from work, it's cheap to park downtown, and I have fun riding to work instead of sitting on a bus."

Harley man: "I like riding around Vegas. I put the bike in the fifth wheel trailer, drive down there, and ride around the desert."

Me: "I think the ride to and from Vegas sounds like fun - why wouldn't you do that?"

Harley man: "My bike is too uncomfortable for riding for more than an hour."

Me: "That's too bad. You have a nice day."

I walk out, mount up, watch the Harley Man get in his dirty truck, and I ride away.

Based on the tools in the back of his truck, this guy is a contractor of some sort. Big scruffy masculine manly man type - your typical Harley knuckledragger. That he's too whimpy to ride his big manly Hardley for more than an hour cracked me up. That he was afraid to get it dirty cracked me up. That he'll drive his 10 mpg rig across country to ride his bike cracks me up.

Dude - wherever you are, thanks for reinforcing my decision to buy and ride BMW - year round.

When I fuel my RT, I put it on its centre stand. So, there I am filling my tank when the guy in the car at the next pump starts asking about the thing underneath my bike. He admitted to being a Harley rider and he had never seen a centre stand before. He was in even more shock when I told him that the centre stand is standard on R1100RTs. I commended him for being a rider, he drove off and I went in to the store and paid for my gas.

bubbagazoo said:

When I fuel my RT, I put it on its centre stand. So, there I am filling my tank when the guy in the car at the next pump starts asking about the thing underneath my bike. He admitted to being a Harley rider and he had never seen a centre stand before. He was in even more shock when I told him that the centre stand is standard on R1100RTs. I commended him for being a rider, he drove off and I went in to the store and paid for my gas.

Click to expand...

The first summer I had my R80/7, it only had a centerstand. I rode in a "charity rally", which had a stop halfway at the local HD dealer. I almost had a problem putting it up on the stand because the moron behind me pulled nearly close enough to make contact with my rear tire. I thought ahead and left space to move forward THEN back. I got a lot of strange looks putting it up on the centerstand; like it was some space-age feature.

What cracks me up is how people at work think that I have three motorcycles...

1) VFR
2) RT with system cases and Topcase on
3) RT with no cases

Still cracks me up that I got stopped for loud pipes on the RT with stock pipes. I think it is called profiling... but that is another story.

It's amazing that BMW could stand for British Motor Works according to at least a few gas station attendants , or that when I used the electro-hydraulic center stand on the LT I had, some Harley dude chocked in his coffee.
The story from the clueless twit in the 7 series is very funny however.

I think MUFFLERS are a space age feature.

A single-track motor vehicle that goes through corners without wobbling and weaving--now THERE'S a space age feature.


pmdave

JimVonBaden1 said:

From my local board:



Jim

Click to expand...

Now, that's funny. I guess I would have said, "If you want them off, come take them off."

pmdave said:

A few years ago, noting that even BMW riders often depend upon the roundel to know whether it's a BMW or something else, I rebadged my Suzuki DR 350 to a BMW DR35GS. The veteran BMW riders knew immediately it was a scam, but others didn't get it.

Click to expand...

reminds me of the time i painted a PUCH moped like a vincent black shadow. nobody got that one.

Years ago, I'm sitting at a stop light in the rh lane on my 76 R100RS (outwardly stock, inwardly modified), quietly idling away, wearing my full gear and FF helmet.

A HD FXRS stops next to me, the whole time my leathered, bare-headed lane guest is blipping the throttle making all kinds of "mommy watch me" noise with his straight pipes. I nod a welcome to him.

Our light goes green. He blips the throttle hard,......and COUGH, PHOOOO...the mghty HD hiccups and spits the entire carb assembly off the intake manifold! He is stranded in the lane, dead, with the carb swinging from the throttle cable.

I am laughing in my helmet SO hard I can barely pull away quietly and quickly.

Now, just to be fair. That same year I'm on a club ride. One of the members has a Supertrapp pipe on his early 90s Airhead RS. His bike did the same thing, hiccuped and spit a carb loose. But that swinging carb on the HD was just hilarious!