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Thread: A warning! Synth Oil URBAN MYTH ?

  1. #1

    Talking A warning! Synth Oil URBAN MYTH ?

    From a friend, thought I should share


    I know that you may be considering the use of synthetic oil in your bikes. But you really should Very cautious of synthetic oil! It can do terrible things both to you, and to your bike. Synthetic oil will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action.

    Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically and without warning, dropping your bike flat on the rocky ground! But that's not all . . . . Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. Synthetic oil will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and then she will never ride with, or sleep with, you again. Synthetic oil coats your oil sight window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak out onto the ground overnight, force your favorite dog to drink it at gunpoint, and he will then die a slow horrible writhing death.

    Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam all your zippers shut. Synthetic oil will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. Synthetic oil will make it rain during rallies and on every weekend. It will causing your cam drive to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every sixteen miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.

    While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp. Synthetic oil then voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555 overnight. It also dries out your wet clutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch cable or slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure.

    Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your face shield and make your gloves shrink two sizes the night before track day. Synthetic oil will then steal your neutral and sell it to the Chinese for $1.25.

    So let's be careful out there!

  2. #2
    Rally Rat paulsibek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    near Los Angeles

    I'm not phased

    because it tastes so good...

    You can use it as a baste for meat. It can be used to mix with milk like chocolate milk.

    You can fry it, it cuts like wood and works great as a tanning lotion.

    So what's the problem?

  3. #3
    Before Harley-Davidsion branded their own synthetic oil, I was told that synthetic oil would ruin my engine. I had a Harley at the time. I was told by the local dealer service writer that it was too slippery causing the bearings not to turn and wear out.

    Maybe that's why so many Harleys are found on trailers.

  4. #4
    Jim Bud
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Sedalia, CO

    this is all true....

    If you put it in a piece of **** motor and gear box....

    synthetic oil works best in "fine jewelery"
    Jim Bud...

  5. #5
    I like TANG! bubbagazoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    St. Albert, Alberta, Canada
    Geez, all of those good qualities. It's amazing that more isn't sold.

    Actually, I was told by the local Kawasaki dealer that synthetic oil was OK to use if I so desired. With only 160 km on the Vulcan so far, I am no where near needing that first oil change. I haven't decided yet whether to go with synthetic or dinosaur oil yet.
    2010 Suzuki GSX1250SEA
    ǣIf you get in too far over your head, remember - full throttle and make it spectacular!

  6. #6
    Comfortably road numb Boingo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Pleasant Hill, CA
    Quote Originally Posted by emperkin
    It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam all your zippers shut.
    And to think, all these years I held coffee responsible for this phenomenon.
    Scott Wynter
    Pleasant Hill, CA
    1971 R75/5 SWB, 2013 F800GS
    BMWMOA, Central Cal, IBA, ECV.

  7. #7


    And the oil threads continue..........

    As an aside; it is amazing the amount of myths the internet has spawned about a variey of issues among others ............oil.
    Personally I think that if any oil meets or exceeds the specs from any engine manufacturer it is safe to use.
    The big advantage that syn oil has over dyno oil is thermal cycling. In high outside heat conditions syn oil will outlast dyno oil and protect the internals better. As far as lubricity goes, additives can make certain dyno oils better for certain apllications (i.e. diesel engines,chevron Delo comes to mind)
    When looking at the design of Porsche air/oil cooled engines vs BMW Boxers we can see that only the size is different. 6 vs 2 cyl and 3.3/3.6 ltr vs 1.1ltr displacement respectively. Porsche's come from the factory with Mobil1.
    I guess it is safe to say the our BMW oilheads can run on the same stuff without ill effects.
    Just my 0.04 cts YMMV

  8. #8
    2 Wheeled Troubador oldhway's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    I've found that wesson oil works well. i get all but 1 teaspoon back each oil change and rather than throw out the old oil i have a chicken fry.....
    Steve Marquardt

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by bubbagazoo
    Geez, all of those good qualities. It's amazing that more isn't sold.
    Not too many synthetic oil wells are found and in production. It's rather rare therefore expensive.

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