People's Republic of Hilton Head

So this past weekend, I am supposed to attend a wedding on Hilton Head Island, SC. My wife couldn't make the trip, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to ride there (bride and groom are friends from my workplace).

I made the 530+/- trip, via super slab without incident, other than the typical brief southern afternoon rainstorm. I got to my hotel in plenty of time to meet up with another buddy from work who was also attending the wedding and have dinner. At dinner I learn (because he-man yours truly did not bother reading or brining the invitation) that the wedding is at 0900 (thats am) the next day--I just figured weddings are supposed to be in the afternoon? So much for sleeping in, coffee, newspaper, etc.

With this nugget of knowledge, I change my plan of a two night stay and check out of the hotel the next morning, planning to ride back to Northern Virginia after the reception. I donned my ATGATT attire and rode the 13 miles or so from my hotel in Bluffton to the Island. I was running a little behind my planned schedule but would still be early.

I arrive at the community hosting the wedding--"The Plantation"--and pull up to the gate that my GPS directed me to on my rather handsome R1150RT. I greet the guard and advise that I'm here for a wedding. To which, he replies "thats great, but there are absolutely no motorcyles allowed on the premises." Yeah right, I say. Yeah, right, he says--no kidding. Blasphemy--what communist came up with this rule?

To add insult to blaspheme, the guard (a nice guy actually) tells me its too far to walk and I would need to ride to the "other" gate--by going another two miles out and around The Plantation DMZ--to the main Gestapo office where my bike can be parked (after registering it with security, even though I'm not allowed in) and I can call someone to come get me. By now its 0855 and I'm hosed.

I go to the other, main security office where I get the same schpiel, even though I told them I know the rule, just here to park. Anyway, I have missed the wedding by now, so I wait a few minutes for the ceremony to hopefully be over before I interrupt and call someone to come get me. My faithful companion from the evening before (also a rider and aghast at "the rule") comes to get me and, upon arrival, I'm greeted by the entire wedding party and guests as they wait for me for the group photo. I did paraphrase our new President for the first time by stating to the group that "the security force acted stupidly" (just a joke, they were following their gestapo training and strict rule adherence).

All ended up well at the reception, other than hearing for the umpteenth time "you mean you came all the way down here on a motorcycle?"

After all was said and done, the hooligan (me) was transported back to his offending machine. Upon arrival, I was surprised to see that one of the super troopers had apparently taken my helmet, jacket and boots inside and was bringing them out to me. I'm not sure if that was a kind gesture or they didn't want the residents to think I had disrobed and was gallavanting through the hallowed grounds?

In any event, I thanked Sgt. Ballbricker for her kindness--she even posed for a snapshot while wagging her finger at me. I actually thought maybe they weren't so bad after all--until I donned my gear and shortly thereafter realized they must have stored it in the room where they take their smoke breaks. I rode the next 8 hours up I-95 enjoying a Marlboro Light scented Schuberth C2.

In all seriousness--If you are planning on riding to anywhere that might cause you to have to enter a private, gated community, it might be worth the effort to make sure motorcycles are allowed--or, you can ride 500+ miles like me and find out the hard way. I'm pretty sure they followed me for a few hundred miles, just to make sure I didn't come back and try to sneak in. I could be wrong (I bet I am on the double super secret probation list now though).

Thanks for reading the rant.

JEP

I am not laughing at you but boy am I laughing!
Exclusionary rules are for me an immediate turn off. Hey I mean, maybe this is just the tip of the iceberg of some grotesque manifesto. You want to be snobby and hang out with your snobby friends? What do you do to unclench, watch the McLaughlin Group?

I didn't enjoy your tribulations but you conveyed the story with humor. Good for you!

Sad, but I credit your difficulties to our un-muffled Loud pipes save lives brethren here in SC as well as other places. "Nobody's gonna tell me what I can & can't do."

Hilton Head has always been a no motorcycle domain so is 18 mile drive in Monterey to Pebble Beach.

I've been to HH, by car, and I feel as JEP does. The whole organization of the nicer parts of the island into guarded private enclaves is offensive. Without regard to motorcycle issues, I will not return.

There is a simple rule on Hilton Head:
Whatever you are thinking about doing it's not allowed! It will take you an hour to read the rules on the beach.

Gated comunities.

My cabin is in a gated community in Maggie Valley and we certainly have enough owners with bikes and never a problem. There are BMWs, Triumphs, Harleys, Yamahas kind of a gambit of different types. All the Harley owners have stock pipes on and never a problem with noise, the only time there is a noise problem is if a renter brings there bike or bikes with the loud pipes and you can here the SOABs forever coming off the mountain.
I would never live in a community that didn't like bikes. I personally find NC to be the most bike friendly state I have ever ridden in.

amiles said:

Sad, but I credit your difficulties to our un-muffled Loud pipes save lives brethren here in SC as well as other places. "Nobody's gonna tell me what I can & can't do."

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well, on the 17-mile drive at pebble beach, it was morons using their dirt bikes to do donuts on the greens.

I take care of an organ in the chapel of a gated community (Great Island) on Cape Cod. No bikes allowed there either, but I get special dispensation.

I've got mixed feelings about it because I don't like the idea of gated communities, but in this case there's a lot of stewardship for the land.

Funny, when you think of it, Our National is sort of a "gated Community" with cars being restricted.

T. E. Lawrence

Liddell Hart, one of Lawrence's biographers, made these notes about Lawrence in a conversation:

quote:
Has now a Brough, weighing 1/4 ton, developing 57 h.p. and doing maximum of 97 m.p.h. If not quite so fast it is worth sacrifice because much quieter and easier in towns.
/quote.

I suppose it's not obvious whether the quieter is for himself or the town folk. Either way, it doesn't sound like he's a "saving-lives" kinda guy.

Noel

Thanks for the info...

I've an upcoming vacation on HH, have been there many times by cage, and appreciate learning this about our bikes. I will check with the community before I saddle up.

Gee.. I wonder what would happen if folks made reservations and cancelled "at the last minute"...and say.. "I just discovered Motorcycles are not allowed..."

They would have your credit card number so you know what would happen if you canceled at the last minute.

moshaffer said:

They would have your credit card number so you know what would happen if you canceled at the last minute.

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Yeah.. find out their "cutoff".. and drop off just before..

Hilton Head is what it is. Sorry you didn't know about the "no bike" rules. I asked after not seeing any on my first trip there to a medical conference, not sure what I would have done if I had ridden there. I suspect, if you were a guest, the hotel shuttle would accomodate your trips to the gate. What they do have is great food and fantastic golf courses. Harbor Town Links is quite an experience to play.

When I go to Hilton Head I stay on Forest near Coligny Plaza where the hotels and people like us bike guys. The Plantations have never been bike friendly nor are the hotels and restaurants on the Planations. Of course, who wants to hang around with anyone who still thinks its cool to call things by their antebellum names. Pretentious twits abound, but they have a beach that can't be beat in November.

LCBIKEMAN said:

I've an upcoming vacation on HH, have been there many times by cage, and appreciate learning this about our bikes. I will check with the community before I saddle up.

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Do you get to stick one of those "exclusive" -HH- stickers on your car? I see them all the time and am thinking , now those are really special people! Pretentious twits comes real close to how the whole place grabs me, but I have to say that the old live oaks are very impressive.