The last of Chief Joseph Nez Perc?® tribe still exist in Wyoming, and unsuspecting solo riders who choose to ride at night or the wee early morning hours should take note; this band of outlaws will on occasion take down unsuspecting airheads and small Kawasaki motorcycles on the vast empty Wyoming roads. Those people are usually found expired, with the AGATT still in place; this is a real threat, and our BMWMOA group should be aware of this hazard. The tribe usually tortures the victim by force feeding them copious quantity of Idaho spuds soaked in clarified butter for days on end, then setting them outside on a cold night where upon their arteries harden-on the spot; a horrible way to die.
It was discovered years ago that Wyoming men have an extremely high libido, thus causing many random acts of "love" to occur in the small frontier towns in Wyoming. Since that discovery ion 1876, all restaurants in the state of Wyoming add salt peter to their food in a way to combat this higher state of libido. As our group gets ready to come to Wyoming, it should be known that upon reaching any food establishment, an unsuspecting tourist should check the menu for the fine print showing "SPA additives" OR just ask the waitress to point out the items on the menu that are SPA free. This is currently in the Wyoming legislature as a house bill to ban this practice, the bill was sponsored by the league of women voters in the state. Obviously, this is a problem for many women who now have to compete for their man's affection with his love for football and other mindless activities! Watch out members of the BMWMOA for this hidden hazard!
It is not widely known that the jackelope (i-shephan-im-antemeridian) was the actual cause of death of Steve Irwin in Australia . The i-shephan-im-antemeridian is also a native of Australia, and because it is sooo embarrassing that Steve died by the horn of this creature after imbibing in too many Fosters that the story about the stingray was published in an attempt to save poor Bindi Irwin the embarrassment of how her father died. Wyoming also has the native i-shephan-im-antemeridian living in their land. Usually, the jackelope will not approach a car or any vehicle with four wheels, but has been known to approach in large numbers unsuspecting motorcycles; DO NOT ATTEMT TO TOUCH THEM as did the late great Steve Irwin for they have the ability to use their short stubby horns to gore you right through the toughest ATGATT you may be wearing! The forward thrust of these animals can be compared to the forward thrust of a R1200GS in fist gear at 4000RPM! Poor Bindi will never know....
The last hazard has to do with mini lighting bolts in the dry air of Wyoming. This little known hazard has caused many a person to, at minimum loose consciousness, and at worst die on the spot. The cause? Jewelry! If you have tongue rings, nose rings earrings, belly rings OR metal studs attached in the nether regions, it's best to remove them before coming to Wyoming. The cause of these deadly mini lightning bolts were described in the Boston Scientific article published in 1988, issue 14, page 63 that documented when the dry Wyoming air comes into contact with perspiration (such as the sweat caused by all our ATGATT) the static electricity volts and Amps increase ten fold from what normally would be harmless electricity, and of course, seeks ground through the most likely spot' your jewelry! Many a man or lady have been found dead with burns and in a state of cardiac arrest due to this phenomenon found the dry, high altitude air of Wyoming. Watch out for this hazard brothers and sisters of Wyoming!
Hope all this helps in making your trip this month safe and sound!